


I'm not your dog

by Bill_x_Cipher



Series: I'm not your dog [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill's on a leash, Gravity Falls Oregon, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, Maybe some smut later, Mystery Shack, but it's good, hurhurhur, metaphorically, rating may change - sorry, some fluffy things, some not so fluffy things, updates once a week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:32:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8163710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_x_Cipher/pseuds/Bill_x_Cipher
Summary: Bill Cipher nearly reached his goals to bring weirdmageddon all over the world, but before that, they were able to close the circle in time and defeated the insane dream demon. But Bill didn't die ... it was much worse. Sentenced to live a human life - a mortal life - he tags along after the Pines to be taken care of, a horrible mistake . . .





	1. Take care of me

**Author's Note:**

> IMPROTANT: Dipper & Mabel are nearly 16 an live permanently in Gravity Falls with their Grunkles

The blinding blue light slowly faded, leaving them blinking for another ten seconds. Slowly Dipper took in what was before him - Bills screeching had stopped some time ago and he wondered if the triangle shaped demon was gone for good. But then he made out a shape in the very center of the circle and swallowed hard. So it hadn't worked - maybe it was the quarreling older twins, who barely grasped their hands in the last second so the circle would be closed.  
He blinked again. The after image of the blue glow still fading.  
But the shape wasn't triangular, it looked more like . . .  
a human!  
Wendy besides him groaned and let go of his hand to rub her eyes. Dipper himself let go of McGuckets hand and shyly looked around in the circle - it looked like every one of them was waking up from some weird dream. His eyes shot back to the human inside the circle.  
It was a young man with ah shock of nearly unnatural blond hair. He was naked, his skin was very smooth and of a creamy white color. The boy sat there on his knees, staring down in disbelief on his own hands, slowly flexing his fingers. The fingernails were of a smooth black color, it looked natural not painted.  
The recognition hit Dipper like a brick when the boy looked up to meet his stare. His right eye was blind, a milky blue color which looked ghostly while the other was a bright golden orb, slightly glowing, with a black slit for a pupil.  
"Bill!", he panted. The others around had also regained their vision and stared in shock on the young human thing in the circle which obviously must be Bill Cipher.  
Bill looked around with wide eyes, he seemed confused and utterly speechless. But the lost expression on his face contorted to sheer anger and hate when his one seeing eye fell on Ford.  
"You!", he breathed out, his stingy , pitched voice making very clear that he was indeed Bill.  
He jumped up in rage and at Ford. Dipper could barely shout out in surprise. Bills fingers were flexed to claws, howling in anger. But Ford didn't flinch back as he clawed at his face but merely threw a punch, sending the naked boy back a few feet.  
Bill slithered to a halt, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling in shock.  
Dipper realized, that this must be the first time for Bill really experiencing pain - pain which couldn't be released after a snap of his finger - human pain.  
"Look at you, Bill Cipher", Ford said in a hard cruel tone.  
Bill blinked, but seemed to be still in shock.  
Suddenly, someone snickered. The blonde boy flinched like he was stung and scrambled to his legs. He looked wildly around. But there were more people now snickering and grinning in malicious glee.  
"I KILL YOU ALL!", roared Bill, lashing out to the next person to him. But he was repelled effortlessly, falling back on his naked ass. Laughter broke loose. Townspeople, which had gone outside, now came in and joined in into the laughter when they realized who was sitting dumbfounded on the floor and staring in burning anger at them.  
Bill screamed in rage and jumped up again, spinning in circles.  
"Look how stupid he looks!" "Hahahaha! Such a wimp!" "You're not frightening anymore, but your mother naked butt is!" More laughter joined in and the circle grew smaller on him.  
Bill looked like a frightened deer now, turning, hissing and spitting. Someone shoved him hard in the back, he could hardly keep his balance.  
"You really think you can scare us now? Grow some trousers, asshole!", someone spat at him. They pushed and shoved him around laughing. A few punches where thrown and Bill looked more and more desperate while trying to break free of the circle. Dipper hadn't joined in and now noticed, how red Bills face had grown, like he felt shame too for the first time. A good clue for this conclusion was, that he tried to cover his private parts now. Someone pushed him so hard, he fell yelping on his knees, curling up even more, covering now his neck with his hands.  
"ENOUGH!"  
It wasn't the reduced dream demons voice but his Grunkle Fords, which brought the posse to an stop.  
People stepped out of his way when he came forward. Bill didn't look up. He trembled, wether from fright, shame or anger (or all three, for that matter) Dipper couldn't say.  
Ford had pulled off his coat and now placed it around the boys shoulder, Bill still didn't look up.  
The pyramid building had been shaking slightly the whole time, lowering them to the ground and beginning to disappear.  
"Bill Cipher, will you look at me!" Ford said. Bill flinched again, now looking up with a glowing eye full of hatred.  
Ford stared down on him hard and merciless. "This is your just punishment. You are reduced to a mortal form. No more magic power, no more tricks. Your punishment is to feel like a human, to live like a human and finally, to die like a human!"  
Bill jerked back, like Ford had hit him. "NO!", he howled. "NO! NO! NO!"  
Ford grabbed the collar around Bills neck and brought him face to face.  
"But it is, Bill Cipher! You are going to experience what it means to be human!"  
Bill screamed, trying again to claw Fords eyes out, but Ford effortlessly batted away his Handschuhe. He let the raging boy fall back on his knees and turned his back on him to go where his grandchildren stood to watch the scene.  
Smilingly he put his six fingered hands on each of their heads. "You did good, Mabel and Dipper" he said.  
Grunkle Stan let a annoyed puff escape, crossing his arms before his chest.  
Ford smiled at him forgivingly. "Thank you too, Stanley", he said very quietly, but Stans eyes shot back to him an instant. He narrowed his eyes, but then his face softened.  
"Anything for you, brother.", he answered in the same tone, smiling softly.  
Ford straightened up, taking his hands off his grinning grandchildren. "Anyway, let's go home", he said. "I really could use a whole nights sleep now!"  
"And Dipper seriously needs to take a bath now!", Mabeld declared frowning.  
"MABEL!", Dipper hit her on the shoulder. But he laughed. He knew very well, that a bath was necessary for real.  
Laughing they all turned their back to Bill and the townspeople, like they were nonexistent and strolling in the direction of the mystery shack.  
"HEY!", someone screamed. Dipper looked back. Bill was standing up, Stans big coat clutched in front of his chest. "W-What about me?!"  
Ford didn't even bother to turn around. "Find that out yourself, Cipher.", he shouted and waved a six fingered hand.  
Bills eye locked onto Dipper. The brunet just shrugged his shoulders and turned around to join his happy family. He could use some time without the supernatural, human Bill included.

 

  
  
When they met Grenda and Candy on the way, Mabel shooed their Grunkles away, so they could occupy the bath before them while she could talk with her best friends. Dipper, still feeling protective of his sister, stayed with her even tough he really was bored how fast his sister and her friends got back to normal topics like the cutest apocalyptic outfit on some boy they had seen and so on.  
He kicked up dust from the road when he noticed someone in the middle of the street.  
Looking up he stared in the golden glow of Bills eye.  
Making a face he planted his legs broadly. "What do you want?"  
Bill came closer, a hard emotion set on his face. "It's your fault I'm like this. Take care of me!"  
Dipper blinked. "Wha…?" he just said.  
"I said, it's your families fault I'm stuck in the body of a puny human - SO TAKE CARE OF YOUR MESS!", he cried.  
Dipper could only do so much as not to break in laughter. His eyebrows wandered up his forehead as he mustered Bill, who was panting from his outburst.  
He still clutched the oversized coat in front of him, leaving his legs looking thin and fragile. His feet were already dirty and bruised, Dipper could even see some cuts from walking over the debris left behind. His brows came together when he felt a small pang of guilt and some very misplaced compassion for the demon.  
But he answered cocky anyway. "It was your fault in the beginning. If you just left us alone none of this would have happened. You're not my problem or anyones else!"  
Bill looked genuinely hurt.  
"Pine Tree", he pleaded, his voice now very small. "Com on, we're like friends, practically! I even was in your body once, don't be that way!"  
"That doesn't make it one bit better", Dipper shuddered.  
Bill looked at him pleadingly, but he couldn't bring himself to say 'please'. Never once in his over trillion years lasting live he had ever said please to anyone. Even asking Pine Tree to take care of him like this took him more self conquest than he ever tought of having.  
But Dipper seemed adamant. He shook his head with a mild grimace of disgust.  
Mabel came closer, having heard almost everything of the conversation. Bill knew, her heart was bigger and easier to manipulate so he turned his broken eye in her direction. Jackpot.  
"Ahw come on Dipper, don't be so grumpy. Look at how hurt poor old Billy is!", she blurted out, laying her hands on Dippers shoulder.  
"Mabel! He's a reckless, merciless demon who possessed me, hurt me and put you into that horrible prison. He even wanted to destroy Gravity Falls and the whole world for gods sake! Don't forget that. Ever!"  
Bill looked pained. He didn't know what to answer, his pride hurt. Of corse he did all that an more and would do it again, every single time. But now he felt weak and hurt, still unable to overcome his pride but knowing he would die without anyone helping him to live. He already hated being human and conceiving human feelings to the point of puking after he wasn't even human for more than an hour.  
He kept staring at his hurt feet, feeling despair clashing over him in waves.  
Dipper looked the broken demon up again, not listening to Mabels pleading, and sighed.  
"Fine", he finally gave in, smiling at how happy Mabel squealed. "Come with us."  
Bill looked up, utterly surprised and couldn't control his face when happiness and thankfulness began to show. But Dipper stepped closer to him, nearly growling. "But if you ever even attempt to hurt Mabel, my Grunkles or anyone else, I swear . . . " He left the threat empty in the air and Bill swallowing hard.  
"I- I promise, Pine Tree", he stuttered and made a pained face. Bill Cipher never stutters!  
Dipper narrowed his eyes hostile and turned on his heels.  
Mabel squealed happily and trailed after him with light steps like the fluttery butterfly she was.  
Bill blinked before he set himself clumsily to move and followed the twins a few feet behind. He kept all the pained hisses to himself while he threaded with his bloodied feet on the stoney ground.  
  
They entered the Mystery Shack trough the gift shop, running across their grunkles in the living room. Everything was a little tilted or knocked over due to the alterations they had made to turn the shack into a combat machine.  
Stan and Ford smelled of soap but still looked very tired, after all, they were old men. Mabel hopped up and down grinning like a thousand suns. "Can we keep him, can we keep him Grunkle Stan?", she blurted out.  
"Keep what, kid?", Stan asked quizzical.  
But her answer was drowned out from both older twins gasping when Bill shyly entered the room and kept looking anywhere but any of the Pines.  
"No absolutely not", Ford declared and stared daggers at Bill, who whipped his head up to glare back the same amount of murder.  
Grunkle Stan leaned back. "I have to take my brothers side on this one. Throw it out!" He demanded.  
Mabel looked heartbroken. "But Grunkle Staaan!", she pleaded in her most sweet tone, grabbing onto his hairy arm. "He just looked so lost and thrown way. I couldn't leave him. Pleeeeaaassseee!!!"  
Bills cheeks grew redder. He huffed. Like he needed a little girl begging for him to stay with people who hated him.  
Stan shook his head. "It's Bill you're talking about, not some cute stray dog." His look became distant. "even tough . . ." He shook his head again to stop daydreaming. "No, Mabel."  
Dipper never thought he would ever step up to do this, but he did. Mabel just looked to heartbroken and he also felt somehow responsible for Bill.  
"Could he just stay for a while? I mean, look at him", he said to his Grunkles pointing to Bill who indeed looked very miserably despite his defiant face. "He's harmless, even weak. What could he possibly do in this form? You can even make him work for free in the Shack."  
This seemed to work on Stan an his face lit up from the possibilities. Bill looked like he wanted to kick Dipper. Harmless and weak? He'd show him who was the weak one!  
"Stanley!", Ford barked out, taken aback from the look on his twins face.  
Stan placed a hand on Mabels shoulder. "Come on Ford, they're right. Bill is a human just like us, I don't see why I can't make him work as a slav… I mean work off his evil deeds to make up for them."  
"You can't mean that!", he declared adamant.  
"But yes I do, brother of mine. He can stay!"  
"This is my Shack, you stupid brick!"  
"Call me stupid once more and I swear I'll slap you senseless!"  
The scowled at each other until Ford threw up his hands in the air. "Fine! Have it your way! Let that little monster in if you like!"  
He went way grumbling, stomping down the stairs to his hidden basement.  
Dipper and Mabel high fived.  
Stan stood in front of Bill who had watched the scene with a range of emotion on his face. He looked up at Stan, not showing any weakness or thankfulness.  
"Look boy- Bill. You can stay for a while, but the moment I catch you doing something I don't like - hurting anyone in the house - you're out like a the piece of trash you are. So, behave!"  
Bill stared him defiant in the eyes for a long time before he finally gave up to look embarrassed on the floor. "Ok…"  He sounded really small. Every mischief seemed to have left his behavior. Stan looked content and went to whatever he was doing.  
Mabel took Bill on the hand, much to the surprise of the blond boy.  
"Come on, you can't run around in that oversized thing much longer."  
He dragged the helpless demon up the stairs. Dipper shook his head and went to have a much needed bath.  
  
When he came up the stairs, smelling of Mabels flowery shampoo he almost let the towel around his waist slip when dropping in on the scene.  
Bill looked helplessly confused, standing in the middle of the room strewn around with Dippers clothes. His battered feet were covered in colorful glittering band aids. He wore one of Dippers trousers, a black jeans which was a little too big for Dipper but almost too tight for the blonde boy. His torso was still naked, showing his smooth skin. Dipper took in, that although he looked very thin he didn't looked starved in any way, more like an slender athlete.  
"MABEL!", Dipper screeched nonplussed.  
She stuck her head up, T-Shirts stapling on her fluffy brown hair.  
"Hey Dipper, I'm borrowing your clothes because pfff- Bill wouldn't let me put my dresses on. But your clothing size is sooo small!" She laughed merrily. Both boys grew a shade redder.  
Dipper stomped over to his open drawers, pulling out a new pair of boxers and wondering at the same time if Bill also had one of those . . . blushing even harder when he imagined him without.  
Mabel let loose a cry of triumph, holding up a eye-hurting yellow t-shirt. Dipper didn't even know he possessed something so awful like that. She ran over to Bill and urged him to put it on. It fit perfectly and strangely the bright color suited him well.  
Dipper pouted while he collected his favorite clothing's from the floor to dress behind a makeshift folding screen, slipping in his underwear trying not to think about Bill in is new young body standing just a few feet besides him.  
Why did it even concern him so much, that the demon was in the same room as him changing. He had seen him mother naked a few hours ago… and couldn't get the images out of his head.  
He came out from behind the barricade clothed in his night wear and looked at Bill again. He really looked good in black and yellow. Damn! Why was he thinking such thoughts?  
"I'm off to shower", Mabel cooed and was out of the room in a flash, leaving them in awkward silence.  
Because he wanted to avoid talking to Bill at all costs Dipper began to collect the clothing's from the floor and stored them carelessly back into the cupboard.  
He even began to clean his side of the room which was like a miracle until he had blanked out Bill entirely until he looked up and saw him still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, watching him with an irritated look.  
Well. He wondered where Bill wold sleep. Noticing, that he had stared at Bill for far too long he brought up a arm behind his head. "Well, come, we'll find a place to sleep for you." He said embarrassed, opening the door of the twins room and went down the stairs not looking back if Bill followed him.  
His Grunkle sat in the old chair in front of the TV, watching something only old people would watch.  
"Hey Grunkle Stan"; Dipper greeted him, feeling Bill step besides him. His Grunkle looked up and lifted a brow, seeing Bill in his new clothes, but left it uncommented.  
"I thought, maybe Bill should have the hidden room for himself."  
Stan wrinkled his brows. "Weeell… I kind of … smashed the walls down to make the museum bigger for new exhibits, you know?", he admitted sheepishly.  
Dipper rubbed his chin thinking. "Then, can he maybe sleep in the living room?", he then asked.  
"I don't think that's a good idea, Dipper. I'm up half of the night anyway and I know for a fact, that your Grunkle Ford always comes up the other half to eat ice cream and cry over some soppy soap operas."  
"I'M NOT!", came the angered voice from Ford up the basement. They could hear him huff up the stairs, soon he entered the living room trough the doors of the gift shop, holding something in his hands.  
"I'm not watching soap operas, you're confusing me with yourself, Stanley", he muttered. Stan looked genuinely thoughtful and nodded slowly to himself.  
"Well, since the living room is out of question, that leaves… your room. Why not, actually.", mused Stan.  
Dipper looked shocked. "What no! I'm not sleeping in the same room as that triangle thing!"  
Bill twitched at the way Dipper said 'triangle' like an insult.  
"We don't even have a spare bed"  
Stan shrugged with his shoulders. "You wanted him here, so you can share your bed with him. I don't see the harm."  
Dipper wouldn't believe what he just heard. "My bed?!", he squeaked.  
Ford also looked concerned. "Stanley, even tough he may look like a sixteen year-old, Bill Cipher is a insane demon. I don't think it is a good idea to have the children in the same room with him . . ."  
Dipper breathed out relieved, but too early when Ford talked again.  
"But I don't want him down in my lab either, or your room … ehw."  
"Grunkle Ford, you can't mean-" Dipper wanted to argue when Ford silenced him with a swish of his hand.  
"Luckily I had something down the basement, an invention I never had the … pleasure to use."  
Without any further ado he stepped forward to Bill, who was listening narrow eyed. He yelped out when Ford grabbed him hard on the shoulders and something clicked shut around his neck. His arms came up frantically, wanting to rip off whatever it was.  
Ford turned around quickly, snatching Dippers wrist before the startled boy could utter a sound and something similar snapped shut.  
"There you go", he declared and stepped back.  
Dipper looked down on his wrist. Something watchlike was there with no apparent lock to put it down from there. It had no dial but a crescent shaped place, its color black and dull. Inquisitively and on instinct he pushed his left thumb into the crescent shaped notch - it fit perfectly, although he felt a sharp sting suddenly and pulled away his hand with a small "Ouch!"  
At the same time Bill yelped out in pain which seemed so much more hurtful than the prick on Dippers finger (where actually a small bead of blood was blossoming).  
The brunet turned around startled and looked at Bill who was now clutching his neck in pain. He had a collar in the same black and dull design dippers 'watch' looked. It also had no apparent lock to take off.  
"Hah. As thought", Ford said happily. "This necklace will keep you in check, Cipher. Whenever you do something you shouldn't, my grandnephew can trigger a massive electric shock. If you run away and stay away from the device for a day you will be electrocuted to death. Only Dippers living blood, and I empathize living, can trigger the device and stop you being executed."  
He smiled like he didn't told them something so utterly inhumanely. But then again, he was talking about Bill Cipher. Whose eye currently had turned an angry red, the last strand of his magic showing.  
"I'll kill you Fordsie!", he growled, baring his teeth.  
Ford ignored him. "Well, Dipper, are you okay with that? You can protect yourself and your sister whenever he tries to do something to you."  
Dipper nodded slowly. He still had to process that he was now the 'master' of the newfound pet, Bill Cipher.  
Stan patted Fords back appreciative. "That was an marvelous idea, brother."  
Ford just nodded earnestly, looking at Bill. "Now Bill. Be a good human for once."  
Bill snarled again and spat Ford in the face, then he turned heel and ran up the stairs.

 

  
  
When Dipper reached their room Bill was already undressed to his boxers, lying on his stomach in his, Dippers, bed, pressing his, Dippers, pillow down on his head. Dipper made a sour face. He didn't wanted to sleep in the same bed as the blonde demon.  
Mabel sat up on the desk, humming some tune and merrily sewing something. Dipper had not the energy to look at her shenanigans this time.  
"Mabel, let's sleep. I'm really tired after all this weirmageddon stuff and everything." he said in an exhausted tone of voice.  
Mabel looked up and saw, that her brother really needed the sleep. She looked down with an mixed emotion but finally stood up. "Fine brother, I'll finish this tomorrow."  
She scrambled in her bed and felt the fatigue settle in her bones too.  
Dipper stood in front of his bed looking down quizzically. "Bill. If you really want to sleep with me in my bed, for gods sake, roll over!", he commanded.  
Bill just let out a pained groan but didn't move from his position, the pillow pressed against his hair.  
"Bill", Dipper said warningly. "You leave me no choice!" His finger hovered over the device. Bills knuckles whitened when he clenched harder into the soft pillow, but still he didn't move.  
Dipper let out a sigh and pushed his thumb into the crescent shaped place.  
Bill yelped and cramped, shooting up in the bed. "Fine" Fine!"; he screamed and scrambled to the wall as fast as he could. Dipper put his throbbing thumb away and he saw Bill relaxing, even tough his stares screamed murder.  
Mabel watched in awe. "Wooow! What was that brother? Magic? And what's with that fancy necklace Bill?"; she chuckled.  
Bill shot her a nasty glance. "That ain't no fucking necklace you little bitch!", he barked, spraying venom. Dipper had his thumb on the wristband again, letting Bill howl for some more seconds. Bill panted when he finally moved the hand away.  
"I hate you Pine Tree", he hissed.  
"Never call my sister anything again!", Dipper warned. Bill cringed at the death tone of his voice. This was something he should keep in mind in the future.  
Meanwhile Dipper had told his sister what was the thing with the black collar and his new wristband. She looked like she couldn't decide to be amused or worried, but she accepted nonetheless.  
With a disgusted look on his face Dipper slid in the bed besides Bill, trying really hard not to touch him and laying as far on the edge as he could.  
"Good night Dipper. Good night Bill!", said Mabel as if nothing had just happened and turned off the light.  
"Good night Mabel", Dipper replied, but didn't say anything to Bill. Bill lay still and said nothing.  
Dipper growled. How could he sleep next to the demon?  
But…  
Couldn't he make him sleep on the floor? After all he had control over that electroshock collar. Bill was at his mercy. A smile sneaked up on his lips, not really fitting Dippers personalty.  
"Hey Bill, how about you sleep on the floor?", he asked cruelly.  
"Shaddap Pine Tree", Bill answered in annoyed tones. "How about you-aghhhh!!!" He screeched, reaching up to the collar. Dipper let it go, leaving a wheezing Bill. Bill sat up. "Whats your problem Pine Tree?! I didn't even touch ya, you stupid prick!"  
Dipper was ready to press down his thumb again when Bill jumped at him snarling. He pushed Dippers hands down, straddling him and shook him heavily. "WHATS YOUR PROBLEM STUPID PINE TREE!", he screamed while shaking the smaller boy.  
Mabel looked shocked, eyes wide in the half darkness of the room.  
Dipper wriggled his right hand loose. But instead of pushing his fingers down on the device he slapped Bill across the face. Hard.  
Bill stopped shaking Dipper. He looked in the direction Dippers slap had forced him. Slowly his cramped fingers pried loose from Dipper. He trembled, putting his hands to his face on the very apparent red mark Dipper had left.  
Dipper breathed heavily but didn't know what was up now with the dream demon.  
Wordlessly Bill slipped off him to the floor before Dippers bed, curling himself up while still touching his hurt face. Dipper was nonplussed.  
Mabel made a disapproving sound. "Dipper! How could you!", she scolded.  
"What?", asked Dipper, high pitched. He himself didn't realize what just happened. Bill ignored them both.  
"You're such an bully!"; his sister ranted on.  
"I- I'm not!", Dipper barked back, but he felt like he was really unfair with Bill. But still, a simple slap offend him this much?  
He bit his lips.  
Bill still didn't move from his coiled up position on the floor.  
Mabel put her naked feet on the floor and came over. She sat next to Bill.  
"Hey Bill. Dipper's a jerk sometimes. How about you sleep in my bed for tonight?", she asked in her sweetest tone, but still no reaction other than Dipper protesting.  
Dipper gave up finally. "Heh - Okaaay! Bill you won, come on. Get your ass back in the bed."  
Bills stare was far away. Dipper leaned down and grabbed him on the shoulders, thus braking the spell. Bill shook him off.  
"Don't", he spat. "You don't want me in you bed. I realize now my mistake, that everyone of you Pines just hate me. But now it's too late" He laughed dryly without a hint of his old self and dragged helplessly at his collar.  
Mabel looked a little taken aback, after all she didn't hate him, but she left it at that. She understood what he meant in general. No one in Gravity Fall would be friendly towards Bill after all he did to them.  
The twins looked at each other for a short moment of twin telepathy.  
Dipper looked down again, his expression softened.  
"Bill", he said gently. "I don't hate you. It's just… hard to forgive you so fast after everything that happened. I'm sure, if your really try hard, people will come to accept you."  
Bill fell silent again.  
"Brother is right.", Mabel told him soothingly. "I already like you very, very much. You're funny. If you trie to settle in with us I guess we can become friends!" She smiled at him.  
Bills eye flicked to her, a unreadable expression was set on his face.  
Him? Friends with those puny humans? Hah!  
But strangely he felt comforted and let himself be pulled up when Dipper tried to pluck him into bed again. He then lay there, not knowing what to say. Mabel whooshed back into her bed and wished them a good night again.  
Dipper yawned sleepily and did the same, this time including Bill.  
A warm feeling settled into Bills stomach.  
After a very long time, when bot twins were breathing very quietly for a while now he said very quietly, almost like a whisper: "Good night, Pine Tree. Good night, Shooting Star."  
Mabel smiled sleepily and drifted back into her playful glittery dreamworld.  
Dipper shifted a bit and Bills eye flickered to his face to find him also smiling genuinely before sinking back into his own dream world.  
Bils heart pounded. Slowly he closed his lids, the unearthly shine of his yellow eye dimming.  
The room was black and silent and for once everything in Gravity Falls was quiet and uneventful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy!  
> I'm super nervous o_o  
> This is my first published fanfic ever hrghh (even tough my head is fanfic-city-capitol)
> 
> My native tongue isn't english, by the way, so please inform me about my weird ass grammatic mistakes and wrongly used vocabulary x__x
> 
> If you liked it - please comment! I'm a highly impulsive person and very much likely to get a huge boost of motivation to write more chapters just to make you happy *^*  
> If you're interested in more BillDip pictures visit my tumblr: http://finnblackfire.tumblr.com/
> 
> See you next time! <3


	2. A spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since I already posted this on tumblr too and it's a rather short chapter... have it now!  
> I think, drawing the picture for this story was my main motivation to write the story itself and somehow it gained a life of its own :D

Bill Cipher was in empty space, everything was black. He turned but nothing popped up. Slowly his glance came down onto his body.  
He was a triangle again!  
Never in his life had he ever felt that relieved. Sighing he tapped absentmindedly at his body. It was him again, finally. The human body was just some really weird dream.  
But still, his eye shifting up, he was in absolute darkness.  
Did it all really happen? Weirdmageddon, the circle, him being turned into a human? Had he dreamt all that, but silly, a dream demon dreaming? He laughed silently, hovering in empty space.  
Even in the plain dimension where he came from noting was this empty. Slowly he became more insecure. He kept floating in one direction, telling himself that eventually he must reach the end, but the darkness went on and on, leaving him more and more concerned.  
He suddenly stopped.  
How silly of him.  
He chuckled, first quietly, then louder until it grew into his usual mad laughter.  
"haha..ahahhhahahaAHhahahahaAHhahahahAHAHAHAHAH!"  
He even slapped himself on his thin black knees. Why didn't he use his magic? The weird dream must have really brought him out of his normal line of thought. Without further ado he sapped with his fingers, willing him to go back into a more ordinary dimension.  
Sudden light let him huff out his breath. Everything was so bright and LOUD!  
He clamped his hands above his ears, realizing that he had ears. Again.  
When he glanced down now he could see his wretched human form again. Bill grinded his teeth. That was not fair! He took one hand from the ear to snap himself back into the triangle form.  
Nothing happened.  
He screamed out in frustration. The sounds around him quickly grew silent. Irritated he looked up.  
He was in the town square of Gravity Falls. All around were citizens, looking down at him sitting on his knees.  
He glared angrily at them. What happened? Why was he here?  
They continued to stare down on him blankly. It began to intimidate him.  
"What are ya looking at suckers?!", he screamed, coming to is feet. He grinned, laying his teeth bare. "You all should die!"  
He tried to use his magic but failed again, it was gone in this human form. But what was happening? Lost in thoughts he didn't noticed that the people slowly came closer until he suddenly glanced up.  
"Wha-", he gasped out. Their faces were blank but for two glowing holes where the eyes should have been. The world shifted and with it his stomach churned. Everything turned black and white, the 'people' towering above him, making him feel small and weak.  
Bill whirled around, looking for an escape, but everywhere were these ugly things, growing more and more into monsters every second. A slit in their face opened, revealing a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth.  
"I'M THE KING OF NIGHTMARES!", he screamed at them, trying to control his feelings. His heart pumped like crazy, sweat ran down his temples, his breathing hitched.  
"GO AWAY! GO AWAY!" He screamed when the closed in, their claw like hands outstretched. Bill felt sheer terror. He collapsed, crossing the arms above his head.  
"Go awayyy!!!", he sobbed.  
An ice cold claw hit his arm, he saw red hot blood drip to the floor in front of him. His scream stuck in his throat when he was lifted up and sliced again. The pain was ripping him apart, blood pooled on the floor, his screams got more desperate, he-  
  
Bills eyes flew open, looking on raw wooden beams on the ceiling. A certain brunette came in his vision. "Bill? Bill are you awake now?" Dipper asked, a hint of worry in his voice.  
Did Pine Tree really worry about him - he shoved that thought into the back of his head. Silly.  
Bills mouth was dry. He felt himself tremble and didn't dare to move. The room was still dark and the surroundings quiet.  
Mabels fluffy hair fell soothingly on his face. "Poor Billsy, having nightmares."  
Bill stirred. A nightmare? Him? He was a DREAM DEMON! There was no way he could have dreams, let alone nightmares! He now got more aware of his body, his face felt strained, so he lift a shaking hand up, touching his cheeks. They were wet.  
Unbelieving he lifted the hand and focussed on the sparkling droplets on the tips of his black nails.  
Did he…  
Did he cry?  
He had nightmares and he cried? Bill was even to shocked to laugh about the irony. His body felt broken and in pain.  
"Th…That's what night…nightmares feel like?", he asked his voice raw and rasping.  
Dipper shared a glance with his twin. He looked down at Bill who looked him directly in the eye and shrugged. "I guess.", he said.  
Bill felt more tears coming out of the corner of his eyes, he couldn't stop them from falling and got angry with himself. Showing weakness in front of the Pines!  
"I feel horrible", he blurted out, not knowing why he told them.  
They shared a glance again "Well, now you know."  
Dipper smirked in mischief. "Bill, you know a thing called 'Karma'"  
Bill groaned. He wiped away the tears, but still his eyes couldn't stop to produce them like a broken pipe. "Of course, Pine Tree. Do you think I'm getting it all back now? How can I ever sleep again?"  
Mabel suddenly slipped from sitting to lying next to him. She propped herself on a arm.  
"Well, it helps for one to sleep with the people you like", she told him, smiling openly.  
The comment made Bill snort. People liking him? Or even People he liked - that was a paradox in itself! But Mabel laid herself down, placing an arm around his chest. Bill realized that he still shivered. Dipper grumbled skeptically but also placed his arm around Bill, laying his hand on his sisters. Bill slowly began to feel better tough he couldn't muse why - was it really just the twins on each side of him breathing calmingly?  
He felt sheltered and somehow warm. It was a nice feeling. Being tired from all the commotion his eyes closed shut once again. But he feared that if he slept, the dream would pop up again. He tensed up. Suddenly Dipper was only an inch away, nuzzling his face agains Bills neck. He slammed his eyes open, not daring to breath. But the brunet was asleep already, breathing warm agains Bills skin.  
Bill breathed slowly, calming his thumping heart. But he was not in fear he mused, so why was that damn thing going that fast? Anyway. He felt really warm now around his midst. Mabel smacked her lips. Leaning agains Dippers soft hair, which smelled oddly of flowers, Bill could finally sleep again.  
  
The birds outside the Shack chirped, the sun was yet a faint glow on the horizon.  
Ford came up the stairs, tiptoeing through the living room, stopping once to put the blanket back on his brothers shoulders. Silently he stalked up the old staircase, avoiding all the creaking spots.  
He opened the door almost in slow motion to peek inside the twins room.  
His breath stopped when he blinked in the soft darkness and saw Mabels bed empty, but his glance flicking back to Dippers bed made his brows rise. He stepped forward, looking down at the picture displayed before him.  
Dipper had his head placed in the angle of Bills neck and shoulder, softly breathing, one hand across the demons chest to hold onto Mabels hand who laid on the other side of the blonde.  
Bill slept looking like an angel, his face slightly sloped in Dippers direction.  
Ford shook his head twice, not knowing what to think for the first time in his life.  
He left them sleeping, and walked downstairs into the kitchen to get himself some ice cream. Later he would make breakfast for his grumpy brother, those lovely grandchildren and the wretched demon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ^///^
> 
> As always - comments make me really happy and motivated to write more for you *^*  
> Next chapter follows the coming week :)


	3. Uh ... that's nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand.. another rather short but hopefully pleasant chapter for you <3  
> As always - Comments make me happy beyond saving xD

When Dipper woke up in the morning he had a hard time not to let loose a scream.  
Waking up next to a sleeping man and feeling after-sleep confusion was one of his biggest nightmares. It didn't help, that the specimen was Bill Cipher. Or, that he was the one cuddling to the other male.  
Like being stung he flinched back and pressed himself against the wooden wall. Bill mumbled sleepily and opened his eyes, one blind and blue, the other glowing yellow. Dipper watched him waking up, wondering, after Bills nightmare, if a dream deamon could have good dreams.  
The blonde looked at him bleary-eyed and Dipper noticed, that a similar realization hit him.  
His facial expression grew hard in an instant. Roughly he slapped Mabels curled hand from his chest and climbed over her out of the bed.  
Mabel grunted and woke up too.  
Bill now stood a few feet away, not knowing what to do next.  
Mabel sat up, grinning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Good morning, my best bed-neighbour buddies!", she cooed happily.  
Dipper sat on the edge of the bed, feeling awkward and sensing Bills embarrassment.  
He remembered feeling pity for Bill when he had that nightmare yesterday, jostling and screaming - even crying afterwards. Never ever had he imagined Bill crying. The demon now stared at him like he had read his thoughts. The stare was definitely not a pleasant one.  
Mabel seemed oblivious to their battered feelings.  
She yawned and picked a new sweater and outfit for today. "I'm first", she cried out while already running down the stairs and locking herself in into the bathroom.  
Since Dipper had had a thorough wash yesterday he decided to get dressed as he was, even staying in the same pair of underwear. Ignoring Bill, he took his clothes and dressed himself behind the folding screen. Stepping out he looked at Bill, still standing uncomfortably there.  
"What's the matter? Do you need Mabel for dressing?", he asked boldly.  
Bills eyes narrowed and he put on a pout. "Of course not, stupid. I, in contrast to you, feel the urge to clean this wretched human body. I'm waiting for her to finish. Or do you want me to walk in on your sweet sister while shower-aghh!" He swatted at the collar.  
"You stay away from Mabel!", Dipper said, his voice trembling.  
Bill made a face in his direction, still rubbing his neck. "Not even joking is allowed, eh?", he asked sourly.  
"No jokes about my sister, do you understand?"  
Bills lips curled to a malicious grin. "But jokes about you, Pine Tree? But then again, you're already a joaaaaaghhhh! STOPIT!"  
"I advise you to watch your mouth, Cipher!", Dipper replied coldly.  
"Yea, whatever", Bill sulked.  
Mabel trampled up the stairs to get her hairband and looked at them weirdly, feeling the tension.  
"Wazzap boys?", she asked cheeringly.  
"Bill's a prick", snorted Dipper.  
"You're a prick, Prick Tree-aaagghhhnnnn…."  
He clenched at the collar, wheezing and glaring.  
"Watch. Your. Trap."  
Bill grabbed his clothes and stormed off, steaming. Mabel looked thoughtful. "You know Dipper, you should really be a bit nicer with him."  
"MABEL!", Dipper exclaimed, not believing what he heard. "Did you just not see how stupid he acts?"  
Mabel shrugged her shoulders. "He's Bill. But you're misusing the power you have over him. Somehow it seems not fair…"  
Dipper huffed. Not fair? Not fair was possessing his body without his content… or like tricking him into giving his content. He shook his head, not wanting to argue and went downstairs - where he bumped into Bill coming out of the bathroom.  
"What?", Dipper asked irritated since the blonde was still in his boxers and didn't looked like he showered yet.  
Bill looked at him and flinched like he was embarrassed at something. "Not you Pine Tree", he muttered under his breath. Mabel joined them, looking curious.  
Bill obviously felt awkward after a few more moments, both twins watching him.  
"Could you just get lost, Pine Tree. I have to ask Shooting Star something", he finally said pressed.  
"Absolutely not, I'm not letting you alone with her. Spit it out already."  
Bill grew redder around the cheeks, fiddling with his hands.  
Dipper sighed. "We don't have all day. Out with it."  
"H- How does it work?", Bill blurted out growing redder once more.  
The twins blinked. "What? The shower? You just use the water taps and- oh… that's not what you mean, do you?", Mabel concluded, looking suddenly silly.  
They shared a look. Dipper stepped back. "NO! No! Absolutely no! I'm not teaching this stupid Dorito how to use the loo! I'm out!" He turned on his heel, bright red in the face.  
"Dipper!", his sister shouted. "I'm not the one with the male anatomy here, okay?!"  
She looked as panicked as him, but with a hint of… Mabelness - like it all just was a big fun game.  
Dipper looked anywhere but at Bill, who apparently did the same.  
"Well, okay! But I'm not- we're not going to- it's . . . "  
He closed his eyes, breathing in. "Okay. I'm just gonna explain!"  
Mabel looked now slightly amused, making Dipper a little angry.  
"Well look - there's female and male in human anatomy and you're male. I mean… you're - are you?" He looked confused.  
Bill looked strained. "Waaait - no, please, Pine Tree, you're not going to tell me about the birds and the bees now, are you? THAT I already know. I mean, two sexes is a little basic for a dimension, but I know the details so please spare me with that awkward talk already. And yes, I'm male in your dimension whatsoever. What I really want to know now is the digesting part and .. ugh … everything that comes after."  
It somehow seemed logical, that a demon from another dimension would never bother to learn about how a body functions. Even though Dipper was confused with the 'I know everything about birds and bees' part. Why was this something the demon knew?  
He pushed the thought away.  
The digestive system and the …. excretory process - that was indeed something he could explain, or do, for a matter of fact.  
Mabel, first humored, then a little disgusted removed herself unobstrusively from the conversation.  
Dipper talking in his monotone lecturing voice made it more bearable for Bill to get to know how his body worked and what gross things it was capable of.  
After Dipper was finished Bill leaned against the door frame.  
"Ugh… that's horrible. I guess I'd rather stick with puking to get my stomach empty, that sounds waaaayyyy better than the other stuff."  
"You won't get your intestinally empty with just puking and it wouldn't be healthy because… ah, forget it... anyway. Sorry pal, you're human now - bear with it." With that lame ending he left Bill standing alone.  
  
When Bill later entered the kitchen, Dipper avoided eye contact at all costs.  
The Pines sat around the table, eating pancakes provided by their Grunkle Ford. They were joking around but stopped as soon as Bill entered.  
Ford gave him an especially nasty glance.  
Keeping his face hard Bill sat down on the only empty stool watching the pancakes wearily. He felt a little sick when he thought about what would happen after he ate them. But then again Pine Tree had told him that a body gained strength from eating healthy and so he took one on his plate.  
He looked up at the Pines. They were watching him but turned to their activities as soon as he glanced at them. He felt annoyed.  
Mabel winked at him and pointed at her pancake. "Watch me!", she whispered oblivious to the fact that everyone could hear her quite well.  
Bill listened pained when she explained everything she was doing in a whisper.  
But he appreciated the gesture, after all Mabel seemed to be the only one liking him even a little bit.  
Bill followed her instructions up to the point, except for sprinkling pink edible glitter on his pancake.  
He drowned the thing in syrup, cut off a piece and shoved it dripping into his mouth.  
His eyes grew big.  
He forgot how to breathe.  
The world went pancake colored.  
A pleased sound left his throat without his agreement but it was just too good!  
He ignored the odd looks and shoveled in the pancake like it was his first meal in ages. Then again, it was his first meal ever.  
Dipper chuckled at how happy Bill seemed, eating plain simple pancakes with syrup.  
When the tension lowered since Bill wasn't going to do anything other than stuff himself with food, Ford poked Stan in the shoulder.  
"Stanley, we almost forgot."  
"Forgot what, pointdexter?", the other one asked irritated.  
Ford gave him a sour look and glanced meaningfully at the twins and then urgently back at Stan.  
The old man looked confused, then suddenly understanding dawned on his face.  
"Of course!", he stood up, watched by Bill Cipher, chewing with his mouth full.  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIPPER AND MABEL!", they both declared, hugging the laughing twins.  
Bill forgot how to swallow for a moment. Birthday? The twins had their birthday?  
They all ignored him like he was thin air, blabbering about human things.  
Bill took the last pancake even though his stomach told hem to slow down, but he couldn't resist.  
"The whole town comes to party today - just for you, my lovely grandchildren!", Grunkle Stan declared.  
Mabel squealed in happiness, hugging her Grunkle. Dipper grinned, the smile fading when he looked across the table at Bill.  
 "What about him?", he asked aloud.  
Bills eyes narrowed. "I don't want to go to your stupid party anyway, don't cha worry." He said in between the bites.  
Ford shrugged. "Keep him in, I suggest. And on last resort you have my device."  
Bill scowled, not liking how they talked about him like he was some pet.  
Stan set Mabel down and came over to him, Bill looked up defiantly.  
"Now about paying off your debts…"  
  
Bill Cipher found himself in the front yard, a rake in his hands, cleaning the fallen leafs and debris weirmageddon had left - feeling stupid.  
Why again was he doing this? Ah, yes. After giving some salty replies Dipper used the thing on him until he gave in. Now he was working like a peasant, grumbling and swearing to himself.  
It was the worst idea ever to go after the Pines. But then again, where should he had gone after becoming human. He had felt so lost and alone. He knew the Pines and they were at least clever some times - cleverer than he wished now.  
The door of the gift shop flew open releasing a bouncing Mabel Pines. She ran over to him.  
"Bill! Bill!", she shouted excitedly. Dipper came out behind her, much more grave than his sister, watching him with eagles eyes.  
"What is it, Shooting Star?", Bill asked, keeping some irritation in his voice. But inside he felt amused and began to think, that he really liked the energetic girl.  
"Look! I made you a present!", she pulled at his collar, which surprised him, and placed something on the bangs hanging down in front of the blind eye.  
When she let go of him and he raised again, the hair didn't fall apart as before but stayed in front of the useless eye. He touched something there. It was triangle shaped.  
Mabel held up a hand mirror so he could look at himself.  
She had made him an crossing of an eyepatch and a hair slide, in the form of a black triangle. He was genuinely touched by the gesture.  
"Uh.. that's nice." he said, unable to bring the words 'thank you' over his lips.  
Mabel seemed to understand - her smile very wide. "You're welcome!" she chirped.  
Bill glanced up at Dipper who watched the scene with an unreadable expression.  
The demon looked down and began to work again.

 


	4. Take the dice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS - Bills dreams are gettin a little messier each time :'D  
> I wouldn't go as far as call it gore, but there is some blood and muuuuch hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't hold myself back from publishing... I'm a few chapters ahead already and maaaybe the story's getting a few extra chapters... or rather long chapters - there were too many good ideas popping up - soorynotsosorry - please enjoy

  
Later that day he had to sweep the floor and was finally sent upstairs when the first guests arrived. The Pines agreed on the matter, that no one should see Bill on the Party to avoid any  commotion.  
He followed suit, knowing that there would be a quite big portion of pain if he didn't.  
So he sat down on the very window in the attic where he once had made a deal with Dipper. It felt so long ago.  
A crowd had soon gathered outside, cheering for the younger twins. Bill frowned and curled up so he couldn't see the people outside anymore, of course, hearing was another matter.  
For the first time in his brief human life he was alone with himself for a longer period of time. Staring down at his fingers, his thoughts raced. Even his brain seemed to have gotten slower he mused angrily. And all these awful feelings - Stomach pains, having to use the toilet, headaches, thirst, hunger, confusion - as if he had not enough to deal with, his chest felt clenched and stung. This must be the so called heartache humans talked about in TV and books (not that he had consumed much of them).  
Being a human was way more complicated than he ever imagined. Coming from an flat dimension it all seemed so pathetic and underdeveloped but actually experiencing humankind was nothing to compare with.  
He felt like someone had hit him. Hard. With a sledgehammer.  
The human body itself was a mystery, but feelings! Man! Feelings were real hard.  
As demon he certainly had a range of emotions but they were not as… complex. They were basic emotions - easy to access and control - no heart got in the way to mix them and brew totally new feel-coctails to digest on.  
He snorted angrily when the Party people began to sing a birthday song, cheering.  
Birthdays - why even bother? He was trillion of years old but never celebrated a 'birthday' (how did he even get into existence anyway… he couldn't remember). And humans did this every year of their short and miserable lifespan. Why though? It just meant you got nearer the date you died.  
He couldn't blank out the party outside. Sighing he sat up and went into the shared bedroom to lie down for a while.  
Clenching the pillow above his ears to drown out the sound he lay there, but his body wasn't tired this early. Also, his head wouldn't let him stop thinking. He kept picturing that awful dream.  
Before his dream grew so utterly horrible he had dreamt himself back in his old body… was this also part of the dream or was the triangular shape still in this dimension, just waiting to get joined with his essence? How could he ever find out without access to his magic?  
He didn't wanted to think about this just now. Getting up again he looked for something to let his mind wander. His eyes fell on some history books of Dipper. Because he had nothing more to do he flipped idly trough them, but soon detected that is was too boring to keep him from brooding (after all, he had his hands in so many human affairs, he practically WAS history).  
Mabels side of the room provided him with some dubious books about beautiful men, a sticker album and a book titled "Summer Memories". Latter caught his attention.  
He sat down on her bed (faintly smelling of candies) and began browsing the scrapbook.

  
He looked slightly annoyed and snorted amused about the stupidity of their adventures as he read on, but soon he was so caught up in reading that he didn't noticed Dipper coming up the stairs until the boy opened the door.  
Looking caught like he had done something wrong, Bill shut the book close with an audible sound. Dipper looked at him first confused then warily when he saw the book on his lap.  
He shot forward, ripping it from Bills unresisting hands. "That's not for you, Cipher", he spat.  
"Whooo - Hey, I wasn't even doing anything to it kiddo."  
"You just stop going around sniffing in our belongings", Dipper declared hostile.  
Bill stood up looking down on Dipper. For the first time he noticed him being a few inches bigger than the brunette - who seemed to have noticed too.  
"Then give me something to do.", Bill snarled, leaning forward, enjoyed to see that Dipper leaned back. "You can't just leave me here and expect me to do nothing. I'm a superior being - I'm bored."  
"Can't you just do anything on your own?", Dipper bit back.  
"Well apparently I'm not even allowed to do anything at all!" He felt the rage come over him. Bill wanted to grab the boy, shake him, strangle him, rip out his eyeballs.  
Dipper stepped back in instinct, feeling the hatred emitting from Bill.  
"I didn't… look. Could you not just have read one of my books? My shelves are full." He pointed in the direction of his book collection.  
"I'm an all knowing demon, they are all b o r i n g", Bill declared in his most obnoxious tone of voice.  
Dipper threw up his hands in despair. "Well, then I can't help you!"  
Bill crossed the arms in front of his chest.  
"It's just boring all alone", he complained.  
"You can't come down to the party!", Dipper said panicking. "I mean, you know best that no one in Gravity Falls can abide you, not now anyway."  
"Calm down. I don't want to get down to your stupid party!", he said. "I just feel like … company." He didn't exactly know, why he had said that. Somehow he felt weak admitting it.  
Dipper gulped. "Well… uhm…"  
Bill now noticed that Dipper had something tucked under his arm. Ignoring his protests he snatched it away and read the title out aloud. "Dungeons, Dungeons and XTRASPECIAL Dungeons. What's that?"  
Dipper looked embarrassed and scratched the back of his neck. "I.. It's a board game I got as a present, the newest special edition with extra rules. But since Grunkle Ford will be the only one able to play this with me I'm storing it away for later."  
"Hey I can play with you", Bill offered, opening the game.  
"No, no, I don't think you'll like it…", Dipper objected weakly, watching the blonde sit down looking at the game and the really thick rulebook. He placed the board on the floor before him and looked up at Dipper. "Sit."  
Dippers legs obeyed in an instant and he found himself sitting opposite to Bill.  
"Just one round", Dipper said reluctantly.  
The demon held the thirty-six-sides dice up to him. "You go first."  
Dipper took the dice.  
  
"Dipper? Dipper! Dip-whaaa!", Mabel exclaimed when she opened the door to the bedroom.  
The floor was plastered with diagrams. Bill and Dipper sat in the centre of the chaos, like spiders in their web. They looked up at her, falling out of some trance.  
"Oh hey Mabel! I just had to try it out… and we got carried away somehow", her brother confessed.  
"You were gone almost for three hours now!", she huffed. "We thought you wandered off into the woods or something!"  
Dipper looked sheepishly out of the window. It was already getting darker outside. And the time gap explained why he felt a dull pain in the stomach.  
Mabel hopped from one empty space to the other to get to them.  
"So you're a nerd too", she asked Bill, looking down on the game.  
Bill shrugged his shoulders. "It's just mathematic and luck, I don't care as long as it is not boring."  
Mabel made a face. "Math IS boring!"  
Before her smartass brother could reply Mabel had hopped back to the door. "I'll bring you some leftovers to eat, you sure are hungry. But finish the game before we're going to sleep, kay?"  
They had already sunken back into their trance, scribbling frantically.  
She shook hear head in mild amusement. Seriously, missing out the interesting part of his sixteenth birthday by playing a nerdy game with a trapped demon, that could only be her brother.  
  
A few hours later they were still on it, empty dishes standing besides them.  
Mabel looked at them with mild irritation, not waning to disturb their concentration. She was happy that her brother and Bill finally had found something to be friends over.  
She woke her brother into the real life for a short span of time to tell him she was going to sleep over at Candys. He just nodded and grumbled under his breath.  
Shortly after midnight they beat the game.  
Bill jumped up in glee. "Ha! There you have it you stupid cardboard thingy! We kicked you ass you little bitch! Ouch"  
This time it was not the device making him wince but the tingly feeling in his feet from sitting too long on them.  
"Great"; Dipper yawned pleased. "I'm so tired right now, let's clean this mess up tomorrow."  
Bill hummed approvingly, already pulling off his shirt. Dipper looked uncomfortably. Bill really had no body shame.  
After dressing himself in his nightwear he shuffled into his bed, falling down on the pillows ready to pass out, when he felt Bills weight settle in besides him.  
"Ey", he said slurred. "Why're you in my bed again?"  
"What? Am I not suppose to sleep with you?"  
Dippers face grew red. The demon had used the words unintentionally he tried to calm himself down.  
"Mabels bed is empty, why don't you go over there to sleep", he yawned, too tired to even turn and look at Bill irritated.  
"Why don't you go over there then?", Bill mumbled, sleepy, but still up for a fight.  
"Stupid Dorito", he muttered, his eyes already falling shut. Since Mabel wasn't in the bed today there was more space and they didn't even touch. Dipper sighed yielding and drifted off to sleep.  
He felt like being wrapped up in a warm, soft bubble, quietly floating trough dream land, happy and content- when suddenly Bills spasms and screams began anew.  
  
When Bill opened his eyes, in what was apparently the same dream as yesterday, he felt his heart pumping in panic. Even though the triangle body shouldn't have a heart, maybe he felt like that because its was really just a dream and he was still human. The blackness was around him again, making him feel really uncomfortable this time.  
He flashed an angry eye. Why would he be intimidated by this?  
He was Bill Cipher! A being of pure energy and without weaknesses! He would show them!  
With new élan and fired up by hatred against his new weak form and feelings he flew in one direction, this time convinced to reach something.  
He didn't know how long he flew in this absolute dark space - no sounds, no visual input, nothing. It could have been hours… or minutes, for it was so depressing.  
He stopped once again. How about trying out his magic, this time not teleporting but, say, something like the blue flames to settle a deal.  
Slowly fear crept into him, making him even more angrier than before. He protruded a hand. He hesitated for just a moment before he made the flames willing to spring up and-  
there they were, his blue flames! Right in front of him, coating his hand.  
A laughter escaped his form.  
So there was some of his magic left! Or not, if this was just some kind of cruel joke dream.  
Getting more daring he used a single finger to shoot a blue laser beam in the direction ahead.  
The ray of light shot forward, disappearing int the distance. This was more frustrating than thought.  
He whirled around, shooting and cursing, everywhere watching the same effect - nothing in sight!  
He didn't even know which direction he had been going in the beginning. If that even mattered.  
Bill tried to calm down again.  
What if he just tried to teleport again, this time really concentrating on a place in his mind.  
He trembled slightly, looking down at his hand.  
When he snapped the fingers, he thought very hard of Dipper, sleeping in his bed. Why he did this, he couldn't comprehend. Somehow it seemed safe.  
The light blinded him in an instant. He could feel his human frame once again, swearing under his breath.  
There he was, kneeling in the middle of Gravity Falls centre, around him the citizens. Everything was exactly like the first dream.  
Blind panic gripped is heart tight. Scrambling on his feet he made a run. But suddenly there were so many, surrounding him, closing in on him, not letting him pass. Their impassive faces vanished, showing only the glowing holes which seemed to watch his very moment.  
Cold claws pierced his legs, forcing him fall down with a scream.  
"Don't come near me! DON'T COME NEAR ME! GO AWAY!", he cried, flailing with his arms only to get cut open on their gruesome claws.  
A razor teethed mouth came close to his face, snapping and drooling all over him. A unarticulated scream formed in his throat, getting stuck in there. No sound was escaping now, his body grew rigid as pain blossomed everywhere.  
A claw drilled into his blind eye with a sickening squelch. He wanted to puke.  
Another claw neared his golden eye.  
Please no. Please no. Please no please no please no please no please no please no please no please no please no please no please no pleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenononononoNo No NO NO NO NO NO!!!  
  
Dipper shook him awake.  
"Bill! Bill! Wake up!"  
A strangled sound left his raw throat. His hands flew up, feeling the wetness in his face in horror. But when he drew his hands away to watch them it was only tears. He sobbed relieved.  
Dipper watched him worried. Bill desperately wished for Mabel to take him into her arms and comfort him as Dipper would never do, because the boy hated him. Another sob escaped, he clamped the hands in front of his mouth, not wanting to cry any more.  
"What did you dream about?", Dipper asked quietly when Bill had calmed down a bit.  
"Nothin' ", he replied with a sore throat. Dipper looked down at him disapprovingly but let him. If Bill didn't wanted to talk about this, fine. He had no intention to do unwanted favors.  
"Think you can sleep some more?", he asked instead.  
Bill sucked in a shaky breath. "No."  
This time Dipper looked embarrassed. "Uh… well, without Mabel… it's…"  
"I know you hate me. 'Never asked you to comfort me. Why don't you just turn around and don't mind me?", he spat bitterly.  
Dipper frowned. Why was this demon so irritating.  
"If you wish.", he huffed, falling back into the pillow.  
Bill stayed quiet. Dipper could hear him shiver, even after the demon had taken the blanked to cover himself (while it was really too hot for being cold).  
Dipper tried hard to ignore it, but couldn't.  
He turned back to Bill mildly furious.  
"Look. We don't have to cuddle up, maybe you'll feel better if I just .. uh… hold your hand or something. And for the record, yes, I don't like you very much, but I'm over hating you, okay?"  
Bill looked at him, looking uncomfortably but somehow pleading.  
"Sheesh!", Dipper sighed and slipped under the blanket to grab Bills hand. It was cool to the touch, but as soon as his fingers closed around, it grabbed him like Bills life was on the line.  
Dipper looked in Bills slightly glowing eye. It was wide in fear but when they locked their glance it grew more relaxed by the minute. His grip loosened a bit.  
"Th…y… Pine Tree", Bill whispered.  
Dipper smirked. Was that a 'thank you'? He didn't wanted to disturb their newfound peace so he let his teasing question fall and made himself comfortably. Strangely it felt good, holding the other ones hand, it felt… natural.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy you seem to enjoy my little fantasy :3  
> Comments make me squeal and motivate me to no ends <3
> 
> Also, if you want to see a particular scene drawn in my style just request and I will see what I can do for you *^*


	5. Let's go shopping!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill seriously needs new clothes - Mabel takes him shopping and Dipper has to tag along...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooohkay - I'm finally at eight chapters now - but that's it and it's going to be awesome *^*  
> Bear with me - updates are coming fast <3

Laughter woke him up.  
"I'm sorry, if I had known how far you were already I just would have left you for a while longer!"  
"MABEL! Cut it!"  
He propped himself on his arms, watching with sleepy eyes as Dipper threw a pillow at a giggling Mabel.  
"G'mornin", he yawned.  
Dipper ignored him, bright red in the face. "He had a nightmare again, what was I supposed to do?"  
Mabel looked at him knowingly. "Oh, yeees. A nightmare. You don't have to be ashamed cuddling with this handsome stranger."  
Dipper let out a frustrated scream and stomped off.  
Handsome? Did she mean him? Did his human form look good? Did Pine Tree also think he was handsome? … Wait, what did he just thought?  
Bill blinked confused. The bouncy girl sat on the edge of the bed.  
"I'm happy you and Dipper get along so well", she beamed.  
"Uh… yea?"  
Mabel lifted up his yellow shirt from the nightstand, frowning, then smiling at him again. "You know what? We're going shopping today. You can't wear the same things every day."  
"But doesn't Pine Tree do that all the time?", he asked.  
"Pff-", she wagged a hand. "Dipper's not like most people."  
True, thought Bill.  
  
When he had showered and was stuffed with delicious pancakes they left the house early. Their Grunkles had frowned at the idea of going shopping with Bill, but they didn't try to stop them.  
"Since we received a ton of money yesterday we can find some startling new outfits for you", Mabel bubbled out casually.  
Dipper tensed. "Wait, I'm not gonna pay for him!"  
"Aw come on bro-bro! He desperately needs new clothes. Your wardrobe is somewhat… limited. And anyway, he's way bigger than you!"  
"It's just a few inches…", Dipper sulked.  
"And his limbs are not as noodly as yours", Mabel teased forth.  
Bill laughed at the comment, risking a hateful glance from Dipper.  
"Okay, but you're gonna pay it back to us.", he finally gave in.  
"With what money, Pine Tree?", Bill asked amused, crossing hands behind his head.  
"How should I know? Work, maybe?", Dipper bit back annoyed.  
Bill frowned. "Have you forgotten that Fez wants me to work as a slave in your Shack?"  
Mabel looked thoughtful. "Well, I'll just ask him to give you at least some allowance. It's like in prison, they're getting paid too, even if it's just a small amount."  
Dipper looked slightly more annoyed. Great, now asking their Grunkle for money!  
When they reached the mall, Dipper was in no mood for shopping and just sat there sulking, watching as Mabel decided which clothes Bill should try on.  
Every outfit looked more horrible than the other - it was just too much 'Mabel'. Snorting Dipper finally stood up and began to look for some clothes, so Bill wouldn't look like a strange, sparkling clown, when around him.  
When Bill tried these clothes on, a yellow T-Shirt, short black pants and a jacket similar to Dippers, his sister complained, that it looked like a different colored Dipper clone.  
Bill, enduring the whole thing with patience, broke out in laughter. He had to admit, that shopping was interesting and somewhat funny with the twins. Before, fashion was nothing more than a black bow tie to him.  
"Why not let me chose, eh?", he asked then. The twins, glaring at each other, agreed.  
He dragged them out of the clothing store into a costly tailors shop just across. Skeptically they watched him choose some clothes and vanish behind a curtain.  
Dipper looked hissing at the price tags all around. This was definitely too expensive. But when Bill stepped out, fully dressed, even he had to admit that it looked fabulous on him.  
He wore a plain white shirt, a screaming yellow waistcoat, embroidered with a nice yellow pattern, just a hue darker than the fabric, a simple black bow tie and slim black pants, his feet stuck in polished black dancing shoes. The only things missing somehow were a tall top hat and a cane.

  
Mabel nearly swooned, looking all over him. She fanned herself some air.  
"Man, is it me or did it just get hot in here?", she huffed out grinning like a child on christmas day.  
Dipper felt a angry twist build up in his stomach. He glared hatefully towards the young blonde.  
Bill noticed his stare and straightened himself up in a model-like pose, flashing a grin at him. "Admit it, Pine Tree, I look absolutely stunning!"  
Dipper really couldn't retort anything that wasn't a lie, so he snorted disapprovingly and looked away glumly.  
They were lucky that the yellow waistcoat was reduced to an almost jokingly low price (because on anyone else it would have looked just horrible out of place). The most expensive item were the shoes, but Mabel was so fired up, she bought them anyway.  
"But he can't run around with that outfit everyday", Dipper complained, when they used him as packing mule to carry the bags.  
"We'll just buy him a set of normal clothes, just plain yellow tees and black pants", Mabel agreed, tucking her arm into Bills who looked surprised down at her.  
Dipper looked like puking, but didn't say anything as he trailed along behind them. His fingers itched to electrocute the blonde but he held back.  
After they finished the task Mabel wanted to go eat some ice cream.  
Dipper sat down next to Bill, preventing his sister to send off any other weird signals and giving Bill ideas.  
Dipper looked grumpy, but when the demon had a fit about how good the ice cream tasted the brunettes face lightened up a bit.  
"CanItasteyours?", he asked with a full mouth, even bringing Dipper to laughter. Mabel pushed her sugar sprinkled cup over to him so he could have a scoop.  
Bill looked absolutely delighted. "This is so fucking good!", he exclaimed.  
"Try mine", Dipper said smiling. Because of laughing he hadn't eaten the spoonful he was now holding in his hand. Just as he wanted to push over his cup so Bill could try, the demon had grabbed his wrist and brought Dippers spoon to his lips.  
The brunets face instantly grew tomato red.  
Bill, having his eyes closed while in bliss, opened them slowly, licking his lips and looking at Dipper trough a chocolate flavored heaven. "That's amazing", he breathed. He still held onto Dippers wrist, now releasing him gently.  
Dipper gulped, feeling hot all over.

  
Bill didn't notice any of this. He went back to shovel his ice cream into his mouth.  
"Eating ice cream is the most wonderful thing I ever experienced!", he exclaimed. "I finally understand happiness."  
Dipper poked in his own ice cream, staring blankly.  
Why was he feeling this way lately?  
"Earth to Dipper! Earth to Dipper!", his sister giggled. Dipper looked up at them. Both Mabel and Bill had finished their bowls, Bill looking longingly down on his half molten one.  
Absentmindedly he pushed it over, ignoring Bill squealing in happiness.  
"What?"  
"We forgot to buy underwear, let's do that next.", she declared smiling,  
"Oh." He had totally forgotten that Bill was wearing his boxers for the past two days. "Uh, yes."  
Going shopping for underwear was going to be so much more embarrassing.  
  
When they entered a shop selling undergarments for both genders Dipper tried to fade in with the background. Unsuccessfully.  
Mabel and Bill were absolutely pumped and on high sugar level. They giggled and laughed like best friends, shoving strange underpants in Dippers face just to see his reaction.  
In the end they reasoned with a set of ten black boxers and a special one, being yellow with a pattern of Doritos. Dipper took up another bag and they finally went back to the Shack.  
  
Bill had never realized that Mabel was totally on his wave length - she was the craziest human he'd ever met - admittedly, it was a very fluffy and cuddly kind of crazy, but nonetheless. Her imagination and view of the world was so refreshing.  
He enjoyed talking and joking with the girl on the way home, totally ignoring a grumpy Dipper following them with all the bags.  
Bill wan't listening to everything she said, of course, but when she began babbling about her favorite songs and bands he interrupted her.  
"I have a favorite song too, wanna hear?"  
Regardless if anyone wanted to (Mabel nodded delighted and Dipper groaned in the background) he began to sing.  
"We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when…"  
The first few words came out cautiously, not sure if he could do it with the voice of this body, which was astoundingly very similar to his original voice, but he soon grew more confident.  
Mabel beamed. "I know that song!", she said and fell in to sing with him.  
Bill grinned wider as they sang the song - it felt good. When they neared the refrain he exuberantly placed a hand on her hips and pulled her close to his side. Grinning widely and looking in each others eyes they howled the refrain loud and a little bit off tune. Mabel giggled happily in the small break before the second part began, Bill took a deep breath, ready to go on.  
Behind them a few soft thumps gave away, that the bags had fallen to the ground, the very same moment Bill felt like his neck and head were being cooked. He yelped and jumped back.  
Mabel whirled around in shock. "What are you doing?!", she screamed.  
The pain decreased, but still waves of pain flooded into his body. He wheezed and looked up at Dipper fretting.  
"Yea, what the fuck, Pine Tree?", he spat out.  
"You're not going to touch her!", he said in an ice cold tone, looking stern.  
Mabel stepped closer to him, getting furious. "Dipper, you stupid jerk. We just had a really good time, singing and talking. You're irrational."  
"I'm irrational?!", Dipper huffed revolting. "Look at you! Being friends with a filthy demon who would have killed us a few days before without even blinking once! Did you forget what he really is?"  
"That was in the past, Dipper. He's a human now, just like you and me. Why can't you just leave it behind? We had a really great day until you had to feel overprotective and cause Bill pain!", she pouted.  
Dipper looked uncertain for a moment, then his face grew hard once again. "I don't trust him."  
"Well!", Mabel declared, stepping next to Bill. "I do!"  
She put a hand on his shoulder and glared defiantly at Dipper who grinded his teeth.  
"Don't touch him.", he said, his voice trembling a little.  
Mabel 'pah'ed him. Then she looked surprised, like she had a sudden idea.  
"Oh!", she exclaimed then. "Oh, it's about touching. So you think you're the only one allowed holding hands with Bill."  
Dipper looked taken aback, but his cheeks glowed red once again. "What? N- No! That's totally not it! I'm not into-" "Well, I don't mind.", Mabel cut him off, suddenly shoving Bill, who had listened silently, hard in the back. Bill flailed with his arms but couldn't stop himself from crashing into Dipper and bringing them both to the ground.  
"He's all yours!", she said cooly, but a hint of mischief also creeped into her voice. Then she turned and walked away.  
Dipper growled and tried to shove Bill off him, who also snarled at him aggressively.  
"That's not it!", he screamed after his sister, coming on his legs. Bill rose behind him, dusting up his clothes.  
Dipper clenched his fists as his sister wouldn't stop walking and vanished behind the next bend of the road. "Stupid Mabel…", he muttered under his breath.  
Behind him Bill cleared his throat, watching the younger human. Dipper looked back uncomfortably just to see that the demon looked thoughtful.  
"So you do like me?", he asked then.  
Dipper coughed and his flustered voice snapped. "Uh - No! She totally got it wrong! No I don't 'like' you. No!"  
"So why did it bother you that much?"  
 "You're bothering me!", Dipper snapped, getting back some of his security. "I told you to stay away from her."  
"You also said I should try harder to settle in with you. But if you electrify me every time I try to get near another human, how am I supposed to change?" He had talked himself in rage and looked glowering at the brunette.  
Dipper looked anxious now. "Well… maybe it's too soon. Or it's because she's my sister. I don't like you getting closer to her. Just, don't, okay?"  
Bills glowing eye locked onto his brown ones. "So it's just her you don't want me to become closer? How about yourself?"  
He stepped closer to him. Dippers eyes widened and he let out his breath gasping.  
The tension lasted only a moment when Dipper stepped back, looking at their feet.  
"That's disgusting…", he said very quietly, almost as if he felt ashamed.  
Bill shrugged and picked up the bags from the dusty floor. "If you think so." His voice sounding uninterpretable.  
He walked on. "Just, next time, tell me to do whatever you want before using that thing."  
Dipper stood there for a few seconds longer before trailing slowly after Bill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More tension between my favorite cuties *^*  
> I love tension ...
> 
> If you do too - please comment - I promise you every one of them makes me squeal and grin like a little pumkin ... feed me motivation candy <3 Thank you for reading, also! You're the reason I'm so pumped and eager to share my brainchild :3


	6. Before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings are nasty little buggers - Bill really wants to get rid of them but how?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Yiss (Took about forever to make this chapter passable - I'm not a 100% satisfied, but it works)  
> More hurt - more tangled feelings - fluffyfluff - a short break before it starts to get even moooore dramatic!

When they came back, the Mystery Shack was bustling with tourists and Grunkle Stan ushered them  in so Dipper could help in the Shack. He pulled Bill into the kitchen, pushed a brush and a sponge into his hands and told him to clean the messy cooking place.  
Grumbling, he set to work and cleaned off, what seemed like centuries of old food stains, not allowed to stop until the whole kitchen sparkled. His arms hurt from the constant scrubbing, but he didn't dare to stop or take a break since either Dipper, Stan and even Ford came looking for him every now and then.  
Reduced to scrubbing old furniture.  
He snorted at the thought, washing out the sponge for the hundredth time.  
If he just could find a way to get rid of the collar. He seriously had to work on that.  
After nearly two days in a human body he now controlled it somehow better and knew it was capable of killing a human, especially with the help of blunt instruments, knives and, a distorted grin creeping on his face, forks.

  
Thinking dark and tainted thoughts made it easier to proceed with the dirty work until the place really sparkled and Grunkle Stan exclaimed a surprised "Oh!" when he came in next time.  
"Good job. Who'd thought that you can actually clean quite nice. You can stop now."  
Relived he lowered his sore hands and threw the remains of the sponge into the kitchen sink.  
"Catch." The older man tossed him an ice cold can of Pitt Cola from the fridge. He snatched it out of the air and looked down at it, remembering. Warily he watched Stanley open his can and take a sip, well aware of the fact that the last time he drank human soda 'like a person' was not exactly how one did it.  
Carefully he opened the can when- a gush of soda shot out all over his face and shirt.  
Grunkle Stan broke out in laughter. "Hahaha! You should've seen your face!" He slapped his soaked shoulder hard.  
Bill just stood there, feeling the sugary liquid burn in his eyes and nose, and blinking sheepishly.  
The younger twins came rushing in, wondering why their Grunkle was laughing like insane.  
Mabel giggled when she saw Bills drenched figure, even Dipper couldn't hold back an amused smile.  
"Don't worry, he does that with everyone", he said apologetically.  
Bill still didn't move. Slowly he raised the can to his face and took a sip, when inside he was screaming in rage and murder. He even forced a smile on his lips now.  
"Funny, hu?"  
Grunkle Stan slapped his back again. "Taking this better than thought, Bill!"  
He barely could stop himself from jumping over to the knife block, pull out the longest and sharpest,  slit open Stans throat and bath away the stickiness of the sugary liquid with warm gushes of blood. But instead he took another sip. It really tasted not so bad.  
"I'll go clean myself.", he declared, his voice sounding a little mechanical.  
Dipper watched him with a slightly worried face when he went upstairs into the bathroom.  
After Bill closed the door behind him he stuffed his fist into his mouth to squelch an angry scream.  
What was with that family?  
  
He had just changed into a new yellow T-Shirt when Dipper came into the bedroom and halted in the doorframe.  
"Hey, we're going to watch a film downstairs, wanna come too?"  
Bill was taken by surprise "Well… uh, okay." He coughed slightly, then steadied himself and tried to look condescending. "I don't think your low form of entertainment will interest me, an all knowing entity, but I guess it's better than sitting around."  
Dipper looked not convinced and frowned. "If you say so - see you downstairs."  
He left Bill alone. The demon bit his lip and tapped his foot in irritation. Somehow he wanted to have more conversation with Pine Tree, but the boy wouldn't react as estimated. Maybe he needed to irritate him some more…  
He shrugged and went down into the living room. The whole Pines family was already sitting in front of the Tv, Stans chair had been replaced by a larger couch some time ago. Now the older twins were sitting on each end, in their midst Mabel. Dipper sat on the floor as always, his head rested on the side of the couch.  
Bill suddenly felt exposed and insecure again. He tried to be as mousy as possible as he let himself slide next to Dipper. Ford gave him a quizzical look but didn't seemed as worried as before.  
They were still deciding which film to watch, leaving him out as if Bill hadn't had a voice in this. He snorted. Of course he hadn't.  
Mabel obviously wanted to see a romance movie, being booed out by the other three. Stan suggested an action movie which was not met with much approval. Ford and Dipper were of one opinion with a documentary but Stan and Mabel protested very noisily.  
Bill watched with a small grin on his lips, stuffing himself with delicious salty popcorn. This was entertainment enough for him.  
In the end, after more film suggestions, they settled on the first film of Star Wars.   
Bill watched the beginning with biased disinterest. Dipper glanced sideways at him and frowned, he turned back to the TV and watched.  
After ten minutes he looked at Bill again and nearly laughed out loud.  
The demon sat there, his mouth slightly opened, a single popcorn in his hands, which had sunken uselessly onto his lap and was forgotten there. He was totally absorbed by the film.  
Bill had never ever watched a human movie. It just had made no sense to him. Now he finally understood. You could root for the characters, you could really get into the story. He liked Darth Vader best.   
He gave out a cry of rage when the death star was destroyed and the dark lord had to flee. Suddenly he felt all eyes on him and he looked sheepishly at the Pines family. The younger twins grinned, Stan looked also pleased since he seemed to have accepted his existence in the Shack and Ford looked more puzzled than ever.  
"What? That was great! I wish there was more like it!", he defended himself.  
Their grins split wider. "Oh, there is.", Dipper said.  
Bill grabbed his shoulders and beamed at him "Oh boy! That's wonderful!"  
Ford was on his feet as quick as lightning, halfway in a motion to push Bill away from his nephew before realizing that Bill wasn't attacking the younger boy but just … behaving like a normal human being trying to make friends. He shuffled back awkward, trying to look like he had just wanted to get up to change the DVD.  
But his original intention didn't escape Bills attention, his grin fading. He let go of Dipper and sat back with a cold feeling in his stomach.   
For a moment he had forgotten that everyone here didn't like him. He had almost felt at home. Or more at home than he had ever felt in his existence. But all the warm feelings and happy moments were washed away now by cold realization that he was not welcome here. Or anywhere.  
Dipper watched worried how Bill grew distant once more.  
"We can watch them tomorrow if you want.", he halfheartedly wanted to comfort the blonde.  
Bills eye, which looked into the distance, focused slowly on him. "Yea, Pine Tree, let's do that tomorrow. I'm tired."  
His voice sounded mechanical once more as he stood up and left the room without looking back.  
  
When Dipper and Mabel reached their bed chamber Bill was already lying on Dippers bed, facing the wall, blanket pulled over him. They exchanged a look but shrugged it off.  
Dipper changed into his sleeping clothes while Mabel went back downstairs to brush her teeth. He slipped into the bed next to Bill.  
He needed all his courage to address the demon.  
"Uh.. Bill?"  
" 'mh?" It sounded tired, like Bill didn't wanted to talk now.  
Originally Dipper wanted to ask him if he wanted to hold hands again so maybe he wouldn't have nightmares in the first place, but Bills behavior discouraged him.  
"Nevermind. Good night", he said instead.  
"'Mh 'night", Bill mumbled.  
Dipper turned on his side, already knowing that the demon would wake them up again in the middle of the night. Somehow he had to get him talking about the dreams.  
  
When the darkness engulfed him he felt like drowning.  
There he was, again, in a world of black.  
Desperation washed over him in waves - there was no escape.  
He told himself, that he could endure being here, endure as long as it took to wake up.  
Over and over he told himself that it would end, that he just had to wait out the darkness and there was going to be a light on the end of the tunnel. He would wake up at some point. Definitely.  
There was no way of measuring time.  
He had waited for years, months, days, hours… minutes. He didn't know. He only knew that his mind, the mind he always had described so proudly as 'insane', was going crazy.  
The fear constricted his triangular chest. Spasms of pain welled in his body.  
He knew, he had no other choice.  
He surrendered to the other part of the dream.  
  
Bills eyes snapped open.   
Blood. So much blood. So much pain.  
Dipper looked down on him with a troubled expression.  
Bill opened his mouth, he couldn't stop screaming and sobbing. Dipper cupped a hand over his mouth and embraced him tightly.  
"You're awake! Calm down! Psssh! It's alright, you're awake. We're here with you."  
Bill sucked in some heavy breaths in between his sobs. He looked down at his shaking hands, making sure that they were still… there. So much blood. And pain. The pain.  
He wanted to scream again, but Dippers warmth made him calm down very slowly. He couldn't stop sobbing. A third hand, Mabels, fell gently on his head, brushing his hair tenderly.  
He slung his arms around Dipper and tried to suppress the sobs while the brunette whispered meaningless things in his ears just to calm him down.  
What had become of him? Three days and he laid sobbing in the arms of some sixteen year old.  
Sudden disgust for himself flooded him and he pried himself loose from their care, even though his heart longed for more.  
He nearly fell from he bed when he tried standing up - both twins watching him worried.  
"I… hg… I … need to … drink"  
He stumbled out of the bedroom down into the kitchen. Gasping hard he felt his stomach contract. He gagged and almost failed to reach the sink where he vomited the half digested popcorn.  
Panting, he leaned above the sink, feeling nearly too weak to turn on the water tap. He managed somehow and rinsed away the remains of his meal, also washing out the foul taste in his mouth.

  
His eyes still leaked salty tears and he felt an incoming headache from all the sobbing and screaming. He couldn't control this damn meatsack.  
In a sudden flash of anger he grabbed a fork lying next to the sink and rammed it forcefully into his left arm. A strangled, feral scream escaped his mouth, the pain helped him to focus as he watched beads of blood form around the fork teeth. The fork fell out of his powerless hands and clattered onto the floor.  
Groaning he turned, his back pressed against the kitchen cupboard, sinking slowly down to the floor.   
Dipper was standing in the doorframe watching him startled.  
Bill looked up at him with blood-shot eyes, his brows furrowed.  
"I…", he began with a rasping, sore voice. "I always thought I already had an insane mind, in my old body. There was just chaos- everything was acceptable in some way! But this… this body forces me to be sane! I would give everything to be ME back again, being insane, not caring about all these … feelings. But it is so painful, loosing ones mind, it hurts so much. I don't want to be human, it just hurts so much…"  
The tears, which had stopped when he had stabbed himself with the fork, began to fall again.  
Dipper hesitantly stepped a little closer.  
"But there are also good things. You should see it as a new beginning.", he implied in a soothing tone of voice.  
Bill looked miserable so Dipper went on.  
"There are many beautiful things, making life worth living. Food, for example, you love the taste of food. Friends, people - you had so much fun with my sister today, that was good, wasn't it? A human can love."  
"Love?" His question was almost inaudible.  
"Yes. You know what that is, don't you?", Dipper said with a hint of doubt.  
"I know the concept, kid."  
"Well, love's the reason we defeated you in the first place. Because we trusted in each other and a strong bond connected us, like my sister and I"  
Bill didn't reply, the stream tears slowly dried out. Dipper waited patiently. Gradually Bills eye shifted to look Dipper in the eye.  
"Do you think I can love?", he asked then.  
Dipper closed his mouth, his eyes growing a little bit wider.  
"I… don't know."  
Bills head sank down.  
The younger one took a deep breath. "Never mind." he said and protruded a hand. "Com one, it must be cold sitting on the floor."  
Dipper held out his hand for a long period of time and almost thought Bill wouldn't accept any help when the blonde slowly put his hand in Dippers. He helped him up and pulled him softly upstairs. They halted in the bathroom to get band aid from the medicine cabinet. Carefully Dipper disinfected his fork stabbing wound without a word and put a simple, brown colored band aid on the swollen flesh.  
He took his hand again and gently led him into the bedroom. Mabel watched them careworn.  
They laid down on the soft bed. Dipper didn't let go of the demons hand and soon was asleep again. Soft snores implied that Mabel also wasn't awake anymore.  
A slightly glowing golden eye stared up into the half darkness of the bedroom and wondered about the nature of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me your thoughts and feelings <3  
> Find my mistakes! (English's not my native tongue - I need your advice!)
> 
> I'm actually distracted from giving it the finishing polish as I'm writing the second part right now - and oh boy, it's going to be smutty and somehow dark AHhahahahaha!!! *Bills laugh*


	7. No feelings left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is love? Baby don't hurt me . . . no more

  
He hadn't slept the rest of the night, but as soon as he sensed Dipper to wake up he closed his eyes and faked being asleep.  
The boy yawned softly and sat up. Bill could feel his gaze falling on his body and somehow this made him tingly.   
When Dipper pulled away his hand he felt a great sense of loss and almost wanted to open his eyes immediately. But then he felt a delicate touch on his hair when Dipper brushed away some strands from his face. He nearly forgot to breathe and laid still, enjoying the warm feeling spreading from his temple.  
Since when had Pine Tree become so important to him?  
He felt Dipper weight shifting as the boy crawled over him to leave the bedroom. When he heard the door shut he opened his eyes and sat himself up. Opposite Mabel was rubbing her eyes, she looked still very sleepy.  
"Goo'morning", she mumbled and blinked at him.  
Bill looked more grave than ever. "Shooting Star… can I ask you something?"  
"Spill, Billy-bop", she commanded, her eyes beginning to shine in interest.  
"What is love?"  
She giggled delighted and looked smug. "Love? Well, you're lucky I'm an expert."  
She let her feet dangle freely from the edge of the bed and thought for a moment before she spoke again. "Love is a shared feeling between people. There are many kinds of love, like family love, or the love for an animal or food or anything really. But I guess you're more into loooove love, yes?"  
Bill raised an eyebrow. "… I guess?"  
Mabel slapped her knee. "Well, it's love between man and woman, or a man an another man or women, or… it doesn't matter. Just love between two individuals. It's almost like friendship but there's more to it. You share everything, you trust with all your heart, you want them to be well, you have only eyes for the one person, making your life worth living."  
She looked dreamily out of the window, probably thinking of one of her long gone summer romances.  
Bill bit his lip and also looked out of the window.  
"And… how would one know one's in love?"  
"Silly!", Mabel laughed. "You just know. Well… okay. I'll explain it for you."  
She stood up and paced the room. "When you're in love you get  butterflies in the stomach - I mean a warm, fluttery feeling, do not take this literally! And you just want to be with the person you love - every word, every touch of them is pure bliss to you. You constantly think of the one person who truly makes you happy. You want to kiss them…"  
She looked yearning again, dwelling in past memories.  
"Kiss… hu? How does a kiss feel like?"  
He couldn't imagine that brushing other peoples lips was a pleasant feeling. He pictured himself, leaning in to Pine Tree, softly laying his lips on the others. Somehow his cheeks began to glow and he indeed felt a certain fluttery feeling in his abdomen. He blinked confused.  
Mabel, totally oblivious to his daydreams, took his hands.  
"Ahw Billy-bop! There's plenty of tourists around at this time of the year! Let's just get you a girl for field experience!"  
"A girl…?", he said almost inaudible.   
Mabel was already rummaging int the cupboard, enthusiastically grabbing Bills best outfit and pushing it into his arms.  
"Change into this, then no woman will stand a chance against your charms, come on, chop chop Billy!"  
He was so nonplussed, he couldn't even resist when she pulled him downstairs and shoved him right into the bathroom… where Dipper was just about to change into his own clothes. They stared at each other, petrified. The younger one had his underwear in one hand and with the other he held a towel in front of his best parts.  
Bill clutched his clothes to his chest and slowly glanced down Dippers body. He swallowed and felt his cheeks redden once again. His guts tingled alarmingly. What had Shooting Star said about that again? Butterflies? Definitely butterflies.  
"Uhhm…?" Dipper said, shifting uncomfortably.  
"Oh - s…sorry!"  
Bill bit his tongue. Had he just said sorry? What the heck!  
"Shooting Star pushed me in. Do you mind?", he tried to sound like his old self again.  
The brunettes cheeks glowed. "Yes of course I do mind! I'm just in a towel! I do mind that you are in here! I mind absolutely! Get out immediately!"  
Bill laid his head back and raised his brows in what he thought would show disdain. "Like I would care about what you have under that towel, kid. But fine, I'm going, kay?"  
He hoped that Dipper wouldn't hear the fine tremble in his voice. With his head held high he got out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him with an angry kick. Moments later the lock inside clicked shut.  
Butterflies my ass! This felt more like an angry swarm of wasps. Somehow even his chest was affected, it stung and felt too tight.  
He stupidly waited outside the door for some time until the door went open once again and Dipper came out, fully clothed, giving him a nasty look. He stormed by without saying a single word.  
Bill curled his lips pouting and went inside to shower and do the strange human things his body needed to do. He would never get used to that.  
  
Mabel waited impatiently for him in the kitchen. She took his arm and pulled him in the direction of the gift shop when Bill protested. "Whoa, wait kiddo, I didn't even have breakfast."  
"No time for breakfast, I already spotted the right girl for you Billy-o".  
"But I'm hungry", he tired to stop her.  
"You can have the box of chocolate I keep behind the counter, that's actually a good idea so you can share sweets with her." She dragged him into the already crowded gift shop. It was so fast, Bill didn't know how to stop her. She pressed the box of chocolates into his hands and urged him in the direction of the victim she had chosen for him.  
It was a rather tall girl with straight dark hair and cute freckles on her fair skin. Bill had to admit that her green eyes were certainly attractive. Then Mabel pushed him again and he collided with her.  
"Conversation starter!", he heard Mabel whisper before she vanished behind the cash counter to watch.  
Luckily both of them could hold their balance and the dark haired girl shot him an irritated glance. "Watch where ya going", she said slightly annoyed.  
Since apologizing wasn't Bills nature (which is why he was really confused when he had said 'sorry' earlier to Pine Tree) he didn't answer right away. Mabel wanted him to flirt, right?  
Sheepishly he held up the pralines.  
"Want one, Clover?", he asked.  
The girl raised one eyebrow. "Uh… Clover?"  
"Well, your eyes, they're as green as a field of fresh grown clover."  
"Oh", she said and smiled slightly. "Thank you."  
She took one of the chocolates and smiled even brighter at him.  
Somehow he had managed not to scare her away in an instant, even though he couldn't say why.  
Because he didn't know what to do next he also took a piece of chocolate out of the box and put it in his mouth.  
"You're a strange one, yes?", she asked jokingly, grinning, still not appalled by his weird behavior.  
Bill swallowed the sweet chocolate. "You could say that, kid. I'm not exactly your average human being."  
She laughed.  
Why the fuck did this work? He somehow felt terrified where this was going.  
"Care to tell me your name?", Clover asked.  
"Bill C… Just Bill." He knew he was too stiff, but she didn't seem to mind. Clover looked at him some more, mustering him. She cocked her head.  
"Don't ya want to know my name?", she asked.  
"Wha… uh… I just call people what I like, Clover."  
Clover laughed again. That was really strange. He behaved like a awkward idiot and the girl LIKED it!  
Helplessly he looked over to Mabel who just flashed him two thumbs up.  
"So, are ya on vacation too?", she asked.  
"Uh… no, I actually live right here.", he answered slowly.  
"Ah, of course!", she said delighted. "I should have known since your clothes are so odd. Oh. I mean not odd in a bad way, they're just a little eccentric but they look great on you!"  
Saying thank you was also something not embedded in his repertoire.  
"Yes, I know", he simply said which made her giggle.  
Bills eye widened. Seriously, what was with that girl?  
"I like you, Bill. Wanna hang out today?", Clover said with a inviting smile.  
Did she just said she liked him after only a few minutes of awkward conversation?  
"You just don't know me, kid", was his automatic response. He had no intention to be with this human girl. She wasn't interesting at all. He just wanted to be away from all this.  
Clover put her hand on Bills arm and closed in. "Then let's get to know each other better", she said with a silky undertone in her voice.  
This was just too much for him.  
"DON'T TOUCH ME!", he yelled. Clover flinched back, totally shocked.  
Bill huffed. How dare she!  
"You puny humans disgust me! You're all just so weak and pathetic! I can't stand all that blabbering and meaningless shit you're always talking about. It wants me make to puke all the time. You like me? Well, here's the news: I don't care! It's just stupid! You humans are all stupid, feeble creatures, living a wasted live, crawling above earth, eating, shitting, dying and looking for something to make your lives meaningful. But there is NO MEANING! THERE IS NOTHING TO FILL THE GAPS IN YOUR LOUSY LITTLE SOULS. IT'S ALL MEANINGLESS! YOU'LL ALL DIE SOONER OR LATER - WHERE'S THE SENSE IN THAT EH?"  
He screamed not only at her but twirled in a circle and spat at the people around. The girl had began crying in the middle of his hateful speech. She whipped her hands in front of her face and ran outside sobbing. The other tourist began to murmur and spill out of the gift shop.  
Bill stood there panting and grinding his teeth.  
An older man approached him. "Young man, you can't just-" "SHUT UP YOU OLD FART! YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD. YOU CAN'T TELL ME ANYTHING YOU STUPID FUCK!"  
The man recoiled and also left the shop furiously.  
Stan stormed into the gift shop.  
"What's with all that screaming - Hey, where are you going - No! Please don't go! We need the money!"  
But the last angry customer was already out of the door.  
Stan focused on Bill who still stared hatefully into the air. "You! What have you done?!", he asked sternly.  
Now Dipper and Ford also shot out of the door, attracted by the screaming.  
Dipper looked anxious at the steaming demon. Bill glanced up at Ford, his eye becoming fiery red.  
"You", he growled. "It's all your fault!"  
Ford looked at him in disgust. "Dipper!", he just said, indicating the boy to use the electric choker on Bill. Dipper looked with wide eyes at Bill, then at his Grunkle and at Bill again. His fingers hovered uncertain above the wristband but he didn't push down.  
"I HATE YOU!"  
Bill screamed in rage and jumped at Ford, leaving Dipper no choice.  
The blonde howled in pain, staggered but still held his hands outstretched like claws. He punched at Ford but hit him only weakly. The big man slapped him with no great effort or force.  
Bill fell to the floor, this time clenching at the collar crying out loud and saliva flowing out of the corners of his mouth. His body spasmed. Dipper withdrew his hand, knuckles white, breathing heavy, Bills body fell limp to the floor like a broken doll. His chest heaved and his eyes were glazed.  
"That was pathetic, Cipher", Ford said unmoved. "I don't think you're fit for human company. Looks like I have to work on something restricting you better. Until then we, and I mean especially you, Dipper, have to keep an eye on the demon."  
Bill didn't respond but slowly came up on all four limbs. He needed all his strength not to vomit on the floor. Through sweaty strands of blonde hair he looked up at all four Pines. He deliberately didn't look Ford in the eyes. Stan looked uncomfortable, but he definitely wasn't on the demons side. Mabel had her hands clenched in front of her mouth and looked horrified and absolutely miserable. He instantly forgave her. Even though she initiated the whole thing it wasn't her fault.  
Lastly he looked at Dipper. The view broke his heart. The boy looked down him in disdain. His chest felt like being stabbed by knives. With a gasp he stood up, shaking.  
There was a strained silence. Bills anger had gone up in waves of pain.  
He felt beaten and wanted nothing more than a place to be alone with himself.  
Stanley was the first to break the silence. "So… what now? I guess Bill scared away the tourists, nothing we can do now…"  
Ford put a hand on Dippers shoulders.  
"I'm sorry I have burdened this upon you, but you must watch the demon from now on. We can not allow him to harm anyone." Dipper swallowed and nodded slowly, sending another pang of pain through Bills chest.   
Ford rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I still have some work to do.", he said and left the room without a second glance at Bill. Stan also excused himself from them, mumbling under his breath.  
Dipper looked at Bill. "Come", he just said and went ahead. Bill followed, slightly wavering. Mabel touched his sleeve lightly when he went past. "I'm so sorry", she whispered.  
They went upstairs, the tension so thick, you could actually cut it with a knife.  
Bill closed the door of the bedroom quietly.  
He jumped a little when Dipper suddenly spoke with a harsh voice. "You can't fool me any longer. You may fool Mabel, because she's helpless romantic, but I now see through your disguise. You can play being human but you'll never be one, I see that now. You'll always be that psycho demon triangle."  
There was so much he wanted to say to Dipper. Like it was all too much for him. Like he didn't fake any of his feeling - he just couldn't cope. Like he felt more and more human every passing minute. Like he was confused by his thoughts - a part of him wishing he would gain back his old powers while the other part wanted to become human entirely.   
But he didn't say anything at all.  
He didn't even have the strength to look Dipper in the eye.  
Bill dragged himself across the room to the bed to lay down. He just wanted to sleep and never wake up again.  
Dipper sat down at the desk and began to write, probably a journal of his own, Bill couldn't care less.  
His chest now felt hollow. Pine Tree would never like him he now certainly knew.  
His eyes closed pained.   
Darkness closed in.  
  
He had resigned. The darkness wasn't going to end. The only way out was to switch into the awful world full of shadow monsters, this becoming more gruesome every time.  
When he found himself kneeling in the town square he didn't even struggle when the nightmares came closer. But the pain! Oh, the pain was so real!  
Razor sharp claws cutting the flesh of his back, chopping off limb after limb. Tears and blood poured out of his stabbed eyes. His cries sounded no longer human-  
a warm hand clenched above his mouth.  
"You're having a nightmare again"  
Dippers voice.  
Gratefully he opened his red rimmed eyes. He was awake, awake and with Pine Tree.  
But no comforting hugs, no gently stroking hands, just a anxious look as Dipper leaned back into his stool.  
"Pine Tree…"  
He stretched his hand in Dippers direction, turning the brunettes expression into sheer confusion. There seemed to be a fight in his mind too, he twitched slightly, not sure wether to take Bills hand or not. It lasted too long. Bill let his hand fall in despair, pulling it back to his body. He sobbed, not wanting to look at Dipper.  
Dipper looked pained.  
He shifted back to the desk, trying to write on, but he couldn't concentrate with the faint snivels and sobs coming from Bill. It took a long time for them dying up. Dipper relaxed a little. Bill was probably asleep again.  
But the demon just had stopped crying because he was dried out physically and mentally.  
He was absolutely empty.  
There were no feelings left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I even wrote that ;__; I'm a cruel author  
> So many misunderstandings and confusion and whaaa... Dipper you asshole!
> 
> *huff huff* No pictures for this chapter - but chapter 8 will have three xD  
> (If you want me to draw a particular scene just tell me and I'm all in *^*)
> 
> Thank you for all your comments and Kudos so far - I really get the feeling my work is appreciated and I'm actually printing the comments to put them into my motivation book - you are the best!!! <3


	8. Endgame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay - why did I torture you with the release this much?  
> Obviously, first, because you were spoiled by my fast updating style and second, I had to keep up my quality - and I really do want to give you something you can read without cringe because of weird ass german grammatic or something o__o
> 
> And last... but definitely not least: IT'S A FUCKING DOUBLE UPDATE WITH THE FUCKING BEGINNING OF THE SECOND FUCKING PART OF THIS STORY XCUSE MY LANGUAGE!!!! (where finally some smut will be involved ahem... sorry for promising it for this story x'D)
> 
> So.. if you liked this story you'll probably like part two - more about the next part of the story in the notes at the end - I don't want to spoiler just yet - so what are you still doing here?  
> READ ON!!!

Later Mabel came to call them in for lunch, but Bill just shifted on his side, facing the wall.  
" 'm not hungry…", he mumbled.  
Dipper looked guiltily down at the demon but still went downstairs with his sister.   
The same happened when dinner came to pass.  
"But Bill… you must eat something…", she pleaded, standing next to the bed looking down on him with a worried expression.  
"No one wants me down there", he just said, not looking at her.  
"I do", she insisted.  
"I don't care, kid. Go to your family and leave me alone."  
He knew that this was really nasty after she tried so hard to be friends with him.  
It somehow stung when she really left his side without trying to convince him further.  
He groaned and pressed a hand agains his chest. He had felt like an empty, carved out shell only hours ago, why were the feelings coming back? Being human was so inconvenient, so inconsistent. He still cared. That frightened him.  
He tensed when the door went open but he didn't dare to look who came in.  
A soft rumbling noise, more footsteps, the door closed again.   
Bill turned and saw a tablet with a plate of food on Dippers nightstand.  
Ah, Mabel was such a good child.  
He really didn't feel like eating, but his body was of another opinion. The food, sausages and mashed potatoes with small green peas, did taste like cardboard but at least his stomach filled up. Eating alone felt somehow awful and his throat knotted tight when he thought about the Pines, eating downstairs, talking and joking. He sat down the plate harshly with an emotionless expression. Then he gulped down the glass of water next to the plate, realizing that he was really thirsty.  
Bill was undetermined wether if he should bring the empty tray downstairs or not. He just left it there then, not wanting to see the Pines family eating in harmony.  
His body felt really tired, but he didn't dare to close his eyes. He was positively certain that the nightmare would repeat itself over and over again when there was no one to comfort him in his sleep.  
When the twins finally turned in for sleep he had already stripped his clothes off.  
Dipper laid himself wordlessly beside the demon and turned off the light. Mabel told them both to a good night, but it sounded not as cheerful as always.  
Bill laid awake, listening to the odd noises the old house produced of it's own for a long time. He shifted, his gaze falling on the sleeping boy besides him. The moonlight filtered through the triangle shaped window and illuminated him perfectly.  
Bills heart thumped painfully. He was now certain that he felt attracted to Pine Tree.  
There were all the right symptoms. Confusion, increased heartbeat, fluttery, warm intestines… but Mabel had concealed the fact that it all just felt like dying.   
There was just no hope.  
He watched Dippers chest rise and fall softly, the dull moonlight reflecting on his brown hair, his facial features. The sudden urge to just run away and kill himself by Fords device popped up in his mind. Would Pine Tree wake up if he climbed over him and out of bed?  
His heart began beating faster, but he didn't dare to move for another eternity.  
Finally he slowly rose, carefully climbing over Dippers sleeping body. He had to prop an arm on the mattress for support when finally touching the floor with his feet. Dipper woke up with a soft snore. "Wha…?"  
Bill was near panicking. "T- Toilet!", he whispered.  
Dipper mumbled and closed his eyes again. Bills heart raced. He staggered to the door, the floor cold under his bare feet.  
Going downstairs he decided that he really needed to use the bathroom.  
After finishing, washing his hands and splashing cold water in his face he looked at himself in the mirror.  
His face was pale and looked sick, dark shadows under his blood shot eyes.  
He felt torn between going back upstairs or pursue his sudden idea to flee.  
A glinting instrument caught his eye. It was Stanleys shaving razor, a well sharpened knife with a beautiful ivory handle. Hypnotized he took it, the electric light reflecting cold on the sharp blade.  
Why not just cutting his wrists, it was as easy as that.  
Determined he laid the blade across his left arm.  
The metal was icy cold and glinted vicious against the pale skin of his left arm, there was already a faint red scratch where he had pushed it down a little too hard.

  
But he couldn't.  
He just couldn't bring himself to cut. It would hurt, it would bleed, he probably would die.  
Bill suddenly realized that he was afraid of dying.  
Hissing disappointed, the blade clattered on the porcelain sink. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub and put his face in his hands.  
Bill Cipher felt truly lost for the first time in his whole life.  
There was no plan.  
No escape.  
No future.  
But.  
He was Bill Cipher.  
He lowered his hands.  
He was still himself somehow.  
The body was in the way, but he was Bill Cipher.  
And Bill Cipher would never cry out of despair and lack of plan.  
He felt himself growing cold. That was pleasant, that was just like being himself all over again.  
Okay, think.  
First, he needed a plan.  
It became clear to him that since his transformation he hadn't had a single straight thought. This needed to change now.  
There were three things he needed to tackle- First, to win back Pine Tress and his families trust. Second, to get rid of the collar. Third, to get his old body back.  
He breathed in deeply. Start with one step after another, he told himself. And now he had to hurry upstairs again so Pine Tree wouldn't become suspicious.  
He tiptoed up the stairs and into the bedroom, luckily both twins were vast asleep. Quietly he climbed into the bed once more and then lay there motionless.  
Bill Cipher had a plan.  
  
When the twins woke up, he faked sleeping once again and woke up with them.  
"Good morning, Pine Tree, good morning Shooting Star!", he yawned, stretching his arms.  
"You better today, Billy-o?", the girl asked guiltily.  
He gave her a bright smile, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Well yes, sorry making trouble yesterday. Thanks for bringing that meal up when I was sulking."  
The twins shared a unbelieving look. Had Bill just said 'sorry' and 'thanks'? In the very same sentence?!  
Mabel found her speech first. "Uh… I- I guess everyone has a bad day sometimes… and it was Dippers suggestion to feed you…"  
"Oh." Bill gulped. Dipper had thought of him and he was the one bringing the tray? He felt his heart rate increase.  
He looked at the boy, well aware of the flush in his face. "T- Then thank you, Pine Tree."  
Dipper nodded. "You're welcome".  
He waited for the bathroom to be free and showered briefly. Nervous he made his way to the kitchen.  
A relieved breath escaped his mouth when Ford was nowhere to be seen. There was just the twins and Stan, eyeing him suspiciously. He just told them that Ford had left the house early to work with McGucket for today.  
Bill didn't sit down immediately. "Uh, Good morning Fez, I'm sorry that I caused such a ruckus yesterday."  
"Are you?", Stan grumbled. "Well, then you'll clean out the entire giftshop. It's sunday so you have the whole day."  
Bill saluted smartly. "Yes, sir!"  
The twins shared an odd look again. Bill sat down, smiling at them. "What are your plans for today?", he asked, loading his plate with pancakes.  
"Oh well, Grunkle Stan's taking me to a local fashion show in town!", Mabel cooed happily.  
"A fashion show?", Dipper said furrowing his brows.  
"Yes, Pazifica Northwest wants to introduce her new label in the mall, she didn't invite me but I secretly know she wants me to come and help out", the girl said winking.  
Dipper furrowed his brows even more. "And you Grunkle Stan, why're you interested in fashion?"  
His Grunkle laughed. "I'm not but these kids are. So I'm giving out coupons for the Shack"  
He handed Dipper a hand drawn leaflet. "Mystery fashion?" was written on it.  
"Oookayyy…", he said and gave it back. "I'm not going, I still want to finish that project before school starts."  
"Thats okay since you'll have to watch this idiot here", his Grunkle replied.  
"I'll be good", Bill promised munching, "Cleaning the shop and all!"  
They soon finished and Mabel got ready for the event.  
"I want the floor to be sparkly as a mirror, and don't forget the spots in the corners. Here's a scratcher, try to get rid of the chewing gum under the counter desk. Come on Sweetie, bye Dipper!"  
They were off.   
Dipper wearily eyeballed Bill. The demon grinned at him. "I'll be good, I promise. Have enough to clean today, so don't worry. I just had a bad day yesterday."  
Dipper didn't looked convinced. "Did you sleep tonight?"  
"Like a baby!"  
"You're a bad liar when you wear human skin, you know?"  
Bills grin slipped, he looked down at the floor. "How…"  
"How did I know? You didn't wake up screaming. Also, you have massive bags under your eyes. That's not healthy."  
Bill shrugged his shoulders. "And why would you care?", he asked quietly.  
Dipper sighed. "Ah, I don't know. Misplaced human empathy or something."  
"Thank you for worrying", Bill said. He had to force out every word even though he really meant it. Being nice still didn't go as easy as planned.  
Dipper scratched his head. "Since you really seem to mean it… I can leave you alone downstairs? I have to finish this project before school starts next week…"  
"You can count on me, kid! I'm going to annihilate every last dust particle in the gift shop - your Grunkle will be going blind by how bright it is going to sparkle!"  
The brunette smiled humored. "Okay, I'm going to look now and then."  
He went upstairs. Smirking Bill grabbed all the cleaning utensils Stan had provided and went to work.  
  
He had mopped the floor twice and was about to dust off the cupboards when Dipper visited him the first time.  
"Having fun?", he asked, leaning in the doorframe, watching Bill as he balanced on a ladder, swinging the feather duster like a sword.  
Startled, Bill lost his balance and crashed to the floor.   
"Oh my! I'm sorry, are you hurt!?", Dipper apologized and ran forward to help him.  
" 'm fine. Just landed on my ass. Guess that's why it is so fat.", Bill grumbled, getting up with Dippers help, rubbing said body part.  
"Fat?", Dipper laughed. "It's not fat."  
Bill shot him a glance. "Not? I can't really tell. Never had a body before. Like this, I mean. How do I even look like for a human?"  
Dipper stepped back. "Uh… you look.. good? I mean you're really lean and… tall. And your hair and eye stick out very much. I think girls would like your appearance very much."  
Bill frowned his brow. "Do you like it?", he asked, watching Dipper. The brunette grew a faint blush.  
"Uh… you really look not so bad."  
"Not so bad, hu? You too. Your face looks cute."  
"Cute?" Dipper sounded somewhat upset.  
"Lemme think… yes. Cute. Or is it handsome for boys? I don't care. I like how you look, kid."  
Dippers blush grew darker. "T-Thanks, I guess." He looked confused.  
Bill decided to go a step further. He smiled charmingly at him. "Yes, I definitely like you."  
Dipper blinked, even more confused. He coughed. "How about I come down at one p.m. and we make something for lunch, okay?", he said a little stretched.  
Bill was disappointed that Dipper just ignored his comment but played along and agreed.  
Dipper left him, looking back with a uncertain look in his eyes.  
Bill sat down on the stepladder and breathed in deeply. Did he just imagine it or did Pine Tree seemed flustered around him, like he somehow liked Bill too.  
He shouldn't get his hopes up, he decided.  
There was a plan to follow through.  
Standing up again his glance fell on the vending machine. Wasn't this…  
Behind the machine, there was the hidden basement laboratory, Fords secret lair.  
He walked over, his fingers brushing the dial. His first visit to Stanleys brain wasn't just a failure, even if he hadn't got the safe-code. But he knew this one.  
His glance flicked to the watch on the wall. It was only just eleven a.m. by now. Dipper had been gone for a few minutes now and wouldn't come back for about two hours…  
He bit his lips. If Dipper caught him this could ruin his plan in winning back his trust. But on the other hand… Fords laboratory….  
He dialed the code, the secret door swung back, revealing the dark and dusty stairway.  
He went downstairs.  
  
The place was almost just as he remembered. Just more dust, more spiders, more chaos. He took a few silent minutes to stare through the control panel at the destroyed portal. The evidence of his failed plans.  
Once again he cursed his human brain, making him a slow thinker.  
He went deeper into the laboratory, finally reaching the study. There, on the carpet, Fordsie had meditated to visit him in the mindscape. He had to admit that most times it was fun, conversing with the old man (who was young back then of course), playing interdimensional chess, making him his willing pawn… not that he was nostalgic about it, but it was an interesting time then.  
He looked around in the dusty, crammed space. No surface was not strewn with leaflets, books, tools and other instruments. A big broken Screen, some computers and other machines, an old, yellowed globe. So many memories.  
He looked up at the walls, freezing in his steps. There was still a picture of him hung on the wall.  
He couldn't resist grinning. So either Fordsie had not had the time to redecorate or he still saw a threat in the demon. Being feared was something he hadn't enjoyed in about an eternity.  
But there was no time to sun himself in his old glory - there were more pressing matters. Getting said glory back, for once.  
He started at random, browsing quickly through the strewn pages on the desktop. Monsters, Gravity Falls anomalies, everything but information of how to reverse being human.  
Out of the corner of his eyes he saw familiar books standing on a shelf. Had he not burned the journals? He turned and took one out of the shelf. It was Number two and looked fairly new. So Ford had just written them all over again. The third book was missing, he probably had given it to Dipper to let him fill in his adventures once again. Was that the project the brunette was working on?  
He couldn't care less. But there was more. Another leather-bound red book with the Number 4 on the six-fingered sigil.  
He put back journal two and instead took the fourth.  
Jackpot!  
The book started with weirdmageddon.  
Mostly Ford had written about the anomalies happening, his demon underlings, the housebot Bill had fought. Boring stuff. He grew impatient, skipping pages, only reading briefly over. Nothing important about him, he nearly screamed out in rage when suddenly a triangular picture of himself popped up.  
There was even a fairly neat drawing of himself in human form, fortunately censured. He suddenly felt uncomfortable thinking about how everyone had seen him naked when he was turned into this weak form. A visible gender was nothing he had wanted. Ever.  
Sheesh. Human brains really were not made for thinking straight, he was so easily distracted.  
Brushing all side-thoughts away he sat down and read on.  
Ford confessed that he had estimated the circle to work this way, or, to kill Bill.  
The blonde demon shuddered.   
From here on the text became heavily ciphered and Bill had a hard times figuring out the texts since his brain wasn't as fast as it used to be. First the ciphers were only about how Bills magic powers worked, which made him frustrated since he knew that already. But after a particular hard cipher he gulped and his eyes became shiny. Ford had a theory how Bill could get his magic back?   
This was amazing.  
Shaking from excitement he flipped the next pages, all stuffed with Fords neat handwriting and also in code, of course. How could it be different with IQ?, Bill thought snorting.  
He opened the next page, determined to decipher the next passage when a sharp gasp let him look up.  
Dipper was standing on the last stair, looking at him in horror and disgust.  
"I knew it! You can't be trusted."  
"That's news to you? Then you're just as dumb as you look, kid." Bills words were like venom. So close! He was so close! Rage clouded his vision. Not even Dipper could stop him now.  
Dipper took the last step, his fists clenched in anger. "So you want to start it all over again?"  
Bill tried to suppress himself from shaking. His heart was racing really fast when he stood up.  
"Well, well, well. Of course you little punk! You can't think I really want to live my life in this miserable form? I'm a prisoner! I am a being of pure energy, can't you see where this is going wrong? I was not designed to be a meatsack in the first place. It's just all going down the drain and I'm literally going crazy. How long do you think will it take before I stab your stupid old Grunkles and bathe in their guts? Or your oh-so-sweet sister? I-"

  
He hadn't reckoned with Dipper colliding into him. Mabel was still his most sensitive spot.  
They staggered back, Dipper pulling hard on his  blonde hair. Little bright stars danced in front of Bills vision.  
"You're not going to hurt my sister!", the younger one screamed, punching Bill in the face.  
He tasted blood, his own blood, which made him snap.  
With all his strength he started a counterattack, punching Dipper hard in the centre of his chest. The brunette choked, letting go of Bills hair. It took another forceful push to send him flying against a large machine. Dipper hit his head and fell limp to the ground.  
Bill waited a few seconds for Dipper to stand up and he grew ice cold when the boy didn't.  
Was he dead?  
He knelt down and turned Dipper on his back. Blood oozed from a wound on his temple but he breathed, he was just knocked out.  
Bill realized that he had held his breath for a while and breathed in deeply. His fingers twitched.  
He could kill Pine Tree now.  
He could.  
But instead he gently lifted his head back to the floor and stood up. Grabbing the journal he ran up the stairs and out of the shop door. Fresh, cold air stung in his face, the sky was darkened with the clouds of an early autumn storm.  
Bill fled.  
  
He staggered through the bushes, deeper into the wood. A hiding place, that's what he needed, a good portion away from the shack. What was the radius of the collar? Was there a tracking device too?  
He had to hurry, he had to get rid of the wretched thing, he had to-  
A sharp pain let him stumble and he nearly hit the floor of the glade he was on. The pain shot hot through his whole body, beginning by the neck.  
He screamed, finally falling on his knees. How had Pine Tree managed to get conscious so fast? He could hear the boy crashing trough the path he had already made in the undergrowth.  
Hissing in agony he tried to crawl a bit further, but his muscles wouldn't obey him any more, only  sheer willpower let him creep a few more inches before Dipper entered the clearing.  
His throat felt already raw and he reduced his crying to whimpering, finally giving up, falling down and coiling himself up.  
When Bill only spouted gurgling noises, Dipper stopped pressing his thumb in the notch of his wristband.  
Bill gasped for air and turned himself on his back, groaning.  
Faint thunder boomed in the distance while the wind began to howl louder. Still no raindrops fell.  
Dipper himself looked not too good, he was pale and a little green around the nose, feeling dizzy.

  
" 'won't let you escape", he said, his voice slightly slurred.  
Panting, Bill came to his knees. He bared his sharp looking teeth. "I'll kill you!"  
"Why didn't you?"  
"I- What?" He felt completely overtaken.  
"Why didn't you kill me when I was out cold on the floor? Did you think I had already perished?", Dipper asked again, he seemed calm and calculating, steadying himself against a pine tree.  
"Wha- no. I checked on you. You were just unconscious." Bill retorted without thinking about what he said.  
"You… checked on me? Why?" Dipper looked uncertain.  
Bill swallowed. "Because, Pine Tree, I don't want you dead." He finally said, keeping his voice level. Maybe this wasn't the best of times to confess, but maybe there never was.  
"Why?" Dipper asked again, taken aback.   
Bill bit his cheek. There it comes. "You told me that love could make me embrace humankind. Well, newsflash Pine Tree - I'm in love with you! And I know you never will love me back. That stinging feeling in my chest must be a so called 'broken heart', isn't it? Now laugh at me for being so ridiculous and give me the punishment I deserve, I won't run away anymore." His speech had started in his usual sarcastic tones but he nearly faltered when he confessed to Dipper, his voice shaking and cracking.  
He spread his arms as the first heavy drops fell from the sky. His face lifted to the sky and he closed his eyes, a concentrated expression on his features.  
It was quiet on the clearing except for the patter of the rain.  
The fourth journal he had dropped lay in between them, forgotten on the mossy floor, getting soaked.  
"No"  
Bill blinked, his arms still spread, water droplets clinging to his hair. "What?"  
"No, I won't hurt you any more. I'm going to ask my uncle to let you go. And then you will go. Just go anywhere. I don't care. You're lying all the time, you're never going to change. I don't want to be with you any longer!"  
Bill hadn't thought the stabbing pain could grew worse, but it did at the notion. "Ow…", he breathed, cringing. Strangely he didn't felt anger but only deep hurt and a vast emptiness inside his skull.  
He looked Dipper in the eyes and noticed that it wasn't only rain running down the boys face.  
"Why are you crying then?", he asked.   
"I- I can't trust a word you say! Stop playing with my feelings!"  
"Your feelings? What I said is true, how else could you explain that I didn't kill you, when you absolutely know that I wouldn't have hesitated with anyone else?"  
"I don't know!", Dipper shouted. He wavered on his feet. "Maybe you wanted to have a backup plan if you failed, after all my blood is the key to the collar killing-system."  
Now he slowly felt the anger burn into his stomach. "No! That's not what I thought! … I… I didn't wanted to hurt you in the first place, you just came at me and I- I reacted the old way. I'm… sorry… I truly am… because I'm in love with you…"  
Dipper made a swinging move with his arms, like he wanted to cut him short and answered harshly. "Don't you say that so lightly! Like you would even know how love feels!"  
Bill stayed silent for a while. "Maybe that's true. I never had a body to feel love with. But Shooting Star told me how it should feel, like increased heart rate, butterflies in the stomach, wanting to be with that person all the time… that's how I feel with you."  
Dipper leaned back, he still didn't want to believe Bill. "Maybe it's just lu- lust you're feeling?"  
He grew red on the cheeks, which made him look a little better since he was so pale.  
"Lust?", Bill mused, looking thoughtful. "Maybe a little. But if I just wanted to have you physically I would have taken you there an then on the floor. Man, my old me wouldn't have hesitated and it would have been fun, but I didn't even think of such things in that moment. I was afraid you were hurt badly. I ran away after checking on you because I knew you'd never forgive me… or… like me..."  
Dipper groaned frustrated, leaning more against the stem of the tree. "Okay, I get it… Even I can sense that there's something between us…"  
Bill closed his eyes briefly. So there were mutual feelings, his heart pumping excited.  
"But the thing is, I never felt… uh… like this for a guy before…"  
Bill frowned. "Because you think you're not gay and you had a crush on Red, a girl?"  
Dipper blushed. "For example."  
Bill sat back on his heels. "Well, she's kinda like a tomboy too, don't ya think kid? But that doesn't even matter, Pine Tree, because what if love is not about whether you have a booboo or a beepbeep down there but about the person itself."  
Dipper looked weary. "And that's supposed to be you? I don't think that works for me."  
"Then ask you goddamn heart, stupid!", Bill shouted enraged. "Mine's pumping like crazy! I think my Body LIKES you damn hard and I get that absolutely confusing stupid gut feeling again! I'm a being of pure energy and I have to cope with feeling utterly attracted to you!"  
Dipper blushed, looking down at the floor. "So basically you're saying you don't love me."  
"What no! I was saying the opposite you dumb brick!", Bill snapped. He felt so irritated with Dipper.  
"You said 'your body' feels that way. But I think, being you, that your mind defines you. So do YOU like me?"  
Bill swallowed again, keeping his eye fixed on Dipper. "Yes, Pine Tree", he croaked with a raw undertone.  
Now Dipper stepped forward, looking as uncertain as Bill felt. "And how am I supposed to believe you? You were lying to me all the time - that's your second nature, isn't it?"  
"Whelp - and what am I supposed to think? As far as I know you could be lying too! Why are you making this so hard! Do you realize how confusing this is for me?", the demon retorted, slowly coming to his feet to stand at eye level with the boy (or above, for he was taller than him).  
"And I'm absolutely okay with that or what? I'm attracted to a bloody demon!", Dipper jeered at him.  
"And I'm in love with a stupid mortal meatsack!", Bill answered, equally enraged.  
The looked at each other, panting. None of them was in good shape anymore, Dipper looked like he needed to vomit any second now.  
"Do you realize we just fight all the time? Maybe we're just… not meant to be.", Dipper finally pointed out calmly, looking a little broken at the notion.  
Bill sucked in a breath. "Maybe you're right, maybe you're not. But how will we know if we never try, Pine Tree?"  
The boy stayed silent, looking sick, not just because of his dizziness. They were both soaking wet by now, rain still pouring down in sheets.  
Bill bit his lips. "Maybe we're better if we just work off all that bodily attraction thing…"  
Dipper eyed him wearily. "… You just want to have sex?" It was more like a statement than a question.  
"Don't you?" Bills voice had grown quieter and more pleading.  
Dipper didn't answer for a long time. He just looked the demon up and down, like taking in the sight for the first time.  
"Well…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo .... "Well ..." ..."Well?" ... well what?  
> U KIDDING ME? (that's what you're thinking right now, yes, are you? :D)  
> AHHhahahaha *insert Bills laughter here*
> 
> I let you hang in the air for a lame "Well..."   
> I'm a true sadist, am I? *pats her own shoulder*
> 
> ...
> 
> I'M NOT!  
> YOU PEOPLE ARE SO GREAT! YOU DESERVE A DOUBLE UPDATE!!!  
> The new story starts where this story ends - so you can either live with the ambiguous "Well.." and make up your own ending or... just read on - this time with actual SEX SCENES AND MORE HURT AND MORE LOVE AND EVERYTHING I GOT!!!!!
> 
> Sorry for overreacting... please let me know one more time if the story was to your liking or if I killed it with the end :'D (I really loved to draw Dipper punch Bill in the face... somehow that's very satisfying)
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND COMMENTING AND ALL THE KUDOS! WITHOUT YOU THIS WOULD BE NOTHING AND I WOULDN'T HAVE PROCEEDED TO WRITE MORE - so... thank you!  
> Ich liebe euch alle <3


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